I don’t wanna perform I don’t wanna explain Don’t wanna keep translating A nervous system built for rain I just wanna disappear downstairs Where the lights are low and nobody stares Where the pressure finally leaves my chest And my mind can unclench enough to rest I don’t wanna mask I don’t wanna pretend Don’t wanna keep bending myself Just to feel safe again I’m tired of surviving in public While quietly unraveling inside Tired of carrying storms in my body With nowhere gentle to hide So let me drift for a minute Let me soften into the static No expectations No performance No emergency attached to existing Just me And the hum of the house at night A half-empty drink A lawn chair A nervous system trying to come back online I just wanna sink into nothing So I don’t have to become something For people who only loved me When I was useful Understandable Easy to hold I wanna drift away Not because I’m giving up But because I’ve spent my whole life Holding myself together For worlds that never learned How to hold me back And maybe refuge looks like this sometimes— Quiet rooms Dim lights No demands No pretending Just breathing slow enough To finally hear yourself underneath the noise.
