Um... It said buffet à volonté. Baby, that means all you can eat. We can eat a lot. Red neon menu, midnight street Pretty little sign saying all you can eat We hit the buffet, plate after plate Too much sauce and a little too late Noodles, steak, cake, fries Soup in bowls and guilty eyes One more round, then one round more Till the trays looked scared on the serving floor The salad surrendered, the oysters withdrew The dessert display met a merciless view The buffet was gone, but the hunger said no And when an establishment promises excess One must expect interpretive success No one was wasted, no one ignored Every little course was carefully stored But then the customers smelled like more So much more. Food coma, oh no, look what we ate The buffet sign was tempting fate Food coma, bellies round and tight We cleared the room by candlelight Nice and warm, tucked away Come back after the entrée Food coma, don’t blame us, please You wrote all-you-can-eat All you can eat! All you can eat! Wrong sign, sweet meat! All you can eat! First went the table near the door Then table two, then three, then four One tried to run, one dropped his spoon One called the manager too soon I heard chairs scrape, I heard feet drum That’s when dinner got really fun I don’t chase scraps, I hunt the room Mass reservation in my guts goes boom I only had three! Okay, maybe four Maybe the twins from table by the door Maybe the lady who said “how rude” Maybe her date, but he looked like food I said I was sorry, I meant it, I swear Then I had the family near the stairs To be fair... The coupon had no limit. The wording was catastrophically broad. A spiritual overindulgence. Still hungry. Then came the waiters, brave little things Balancing trays like dinner had wings One with menus, one with wine One saying, “Ladies, please form a line.” Wrong advice, but charming tone Soon the staff room stood alone Aprons, nametags, polished shoes Hospitality you can’t refuse The cooks protested from the back With hats and panic still intact The pastry chef, a sugared prize Went down with cream still in his eyes The sous-chef cursed, the dishwasher prayed The grill cook slipped in marinade And when the head chef stormed in red We complimented him instead Every worker, every guest Held with care and compressed We may have overdone the zest. Best course yet. Food coma, oh no, look what we ate The buffet sign was tempting fate Food coma, bellies round and tight We cleared the room by candlelight Nice and warm, tucked away Come back after the entrée Food coma, don’t blame us, please You wrote all-you-can-eat If you wake up hearing music If you dream in velvet heat Don’t be scared, you were not wasted Just enjoyed a little long Every guest is coming back soon Humming pieces of our song Mostly. Probably. Pending digestive diplomacy. No refunds. Buffet gone! Guests inside! Staff went down! Mouths went wide! Check, please! Too late! Save dessert! Ate the plate! Food coma, oh no, look what we ate The buffet sign was tempting fate Food coma, bellies round and tight We cleared the room by candlelight Nice and warm, tucked away Come back after the entrée Food coma, don’t blame us, please You wrote all-you-can-eat Do we tip? After that service? Leave a review. Five stars. And maybe a nap. Food coma... All you can eat...
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