[Verse 1] Booked a trip with Mister Doom, Smelled like sweat and cheap perfume. Never laughed, just clenched his jaw, Thought apocalypse was law. I packed beer, he packed despair— Worst roommate anywhere. [Chorus] I wanted beaches, booze and sex, He wanted seventy virgins next. Worst package deal beneath the sun, I came for fun—he hated fun. [Verse 2] He skipped cocktails by the sea, Said, "Paradise is waiting me." I said, "Mate, let's grab some fries." He kept staring at the skies. Even seagulls looked concerned... Some people never fucking learn. [Chorus] I wanted beaches, booze and sex, He wanted seventy virgins next. Worst package deal beneath the sun, I came for fun—he hated fun. [Bridge] Every joke flew over his head, Like he'd already joined the dead. Couldn't dance, couldn't grin, Couldn't even fucking sin. If your prophet bans guitars, Bars and laughter after dark, Take your cult and take a hike— I'm getting drunk and riding bikes. [Final Chorus] I wanted beaches, booze and sex, He wanted seventy virgins next. Missed my flight but learned one thing: Fanatics ruin everything.
