Psychedelic Cost of Living

Quiet long days and Endless nights Endless clocks ticking away my loneliness My emotional struggles and unending pains Violent thunderstorms eases all my suffering only to find calmness within my agony for a moment, waking and realizing i am still alive, when thoughts of ending it all grows within me. I am drowning in my own fears and anger Dark and cold waters blinding me from my truth Embracing the darkness of the bottomless deep ocean of sorrow and sadness, and guilt, and losing in touch of who I am, and what is real or just a nightmare! Quiet long days and endless nights Endless clocks ticking away at my loneliness my emotional struggles and unending pains, violent thunderstorms eases my suffering only to calm my agony for a moment Waking and realizing I am still alive! While thoughts of ending it all pours within me! What is the cost of living if i never feel wanted, Lived or even Alive? I exist to not exist in this world, knives pushing and stabbing from within me, suffocating from all my wrongs, I deserve punishment, i deserve death! At the cost of my sudden disappearance , then when they notice my absence, they see me , and I’m already gone from this sinful world we live in! And the world will be free from Me!