# THE BIG BAD WOLF (But My Friends Call Me B.B.) ### [Spoken Intro] *(Easy whistle... glass clinks... crowd chatter... low chuckle.)* "A'ight... a'ight... Y'all done heard that story 'bout them Three Little Pigs, right? Heh... yeah... Well... y'all only ever heard **their** side. Folks call me the Big Bad Wolf... ...but my friends just call me **B.B.** Pull up a chair... Lemme tell ya what really happened." --- ## Verse 1 Now that first little pig was a heck of a cook, Could smoke a rack of ribs without openin' a book. Nicest little fella you'd ever wanna know, But he built that house outta straw... Where'd he think it was gonna go? Folks say I showed up mean as could be, Truth is I was just strollin' peacefully. Knocked on the door nice as can be, "Little Pig... Mind if I come in and have some sweet tea?" --- ## Pre-Chorus He hollered back, "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!" I said, "Well... That's oddly specific." --- ## Chorus They say I huffed... They say I puffed... Like I woke up lookin' for sin. Truth be told, That house was hangin' on By a wish... And a weather report. Everybody blames old B.B., But boys... That wasn't exactly architecture. --- ## Verse 2 Second little pig found inner peace, Burned incense underneath the trees. Meditation... Crystals... Positive vibes... Didn't own a hammer His whole darn life. He said, "Brother Wolf... Release your fear." I said, "Brother Pig... You got termites over here." --- ## Chorus They say I huffed... They say I puffed... Like destruction was my game. Sometimes Mother Nature Steals my credit... Yet somehow... I still get blamed. Everybody blames old B.B., But boys... That wasn't exactly architecture. --- ## Verse 3 Now Brick Pig... I'll tip my hat. Sharp-dressed hog... I'll give him that. Suit and tie... Pig Incorporated... Stock portfolio... Highly educated. He looked at me and grinned real wide, "You ain't blowin' this one down." I smiled and said, "Son... Who said anything... About blowin'?" --- ## Bridge Everybody remembers my lungs... Nobody remembers buildin' codes. Everybody remembers the fairy tale... Nobody checks inspection reports. And don't even get me started... On that little girl in the red hood. *(laughs)* That's a whole different song. --- ## Final Chorus Yeah, they say I huffed... Yeah, they say I puffed... Maybe just a little now and then. But history's mostly written By the folks Who never bought the next round. So if you hear that story, Pour yourself a drink. Listen twice... Then call old B.B. --- ### [Spoken Outro] "Anyway... That's my side. ...and I'm stickin' to it." *(Chuckles. Whistles. Steel guitar fades into the night.)*
