[Verse 1] You came in hot Like a five-star review Till your barstool swing Took flight past table two Glass in the guac Ketchup on the door You tipped me in chaos All over the floor [Chorus] Duuude You’re wrecking my tips Like Literally wrecking Can we not weaponize the furniture? (hey!) I’m dodging flying chairs While I’m doing your check-in Can we not weaponize the furniture? Can we just chill Just chill And leave the tables standing [Verse 2] You’re stage-diving Off the banquet bench Turning coat racks Into monkey wrench I’m in the splash zone Of your “just one drink” I’m counting broken coasters Watch my paycheck shrink [Chorus] Duuude You’re wrecking my tips Like Literally wrecking Can we not weaponize the furniture? (oh yeah) I’m juking flying forks While I’m doing your check-in Can we not weaponize the furniture? Can we just breathe Just breathe And keep the bar from crashing [Bridge] Look I get it Long week Big tab You wanna go epic You don’t gotta go Vlad Raise your glass high Keep your feet on the floor If it’s bolted If it’s padded Please don’t turn it into war [Chorus] Duuude You’re wrecking my tips Like Literally wrecking Can we not weaponize the furniture? (come on) I’m taping up the booth Instead of counting your blessing Can we not weaponize the furniture? If you love this place This face Let the chairs stay chairs My friend
