Flannel Formal [Intro — gentle acoustic strum + zipper sound] (DJ Double-Double) Button it up, bud… This flannel’s goin’ out tonight. (Friendly Five) Is that the good one? Oh yeah… the nice flannel. [Verse 1 — DJ Double-Double] Got my sleeves rolled just right, no creases, Plaid pattern tighter than a bag of Reese’s. Grandma’s funeral? I wore the black and grey, Same one I rocked for my cousin’s wedding day. It’s stitched with pride and stitched with grit, Same flannel I wore when I wrecked my skidoo — legit. People in suits lookin’ stiff and bland, I show up in plaid and command the land. “Who’s the guy in buffalo check and steel-toes?” “Buddy… that’s me.” [Chorus] Flannel formal — classy but tough, Soft on the skin but the vibes are rough, You wear a tux? I wear my roots, With a flannel shirt and some mud-stained boots. Flannel formal — from birth to the hearse, It’s church, it’s court, it’s even rehearsed, You dress to impress, I dress to be me, Plaid on my chest like a true maple tree. 🎵 [Verse 2 — Lil Timbits] Interview at the mill? Wore the red and black, Manager said, “That’s confidence, Jack.” Wedding on the lake? Wore the green and tan, Paired it with jeans and a bushy ol’ tan. Funeral tears on the blue-and-grey, Same shirt I spilled poutine on yesterday. But it’s all good — flannel don’t judge, Just toss it in the dryer with a lint-free nudge. “I’ve buried people and married people in this shirt.” “That’s called range, bud.” [Chorus] Flannel formal — button to the top, You can find me in plaid ‘til the casket drop, From a job fair booth to the aisle at Sobeys, Flannel says ‘I’m real’ — not tryin’ to be posy. Flannel formal — it’s the national dress, Tells a story with every rip and mess, You got Armani? I got Mark’s Work Wear, And a flannel for every formal affair. 🎵 [Bridge — The Friendly Five (soft, emotional)] One for the wedding, One for the wake, One for the day I spilled syrup on a date… (DJ Double-Double) That’s the navy and grey one. Never washed it. [Verse 3 — Gordie Flo] Cousin’s court date? Wore the finest thread, Black plaid ironed flat on the bunk bed. Best man speech? Rocked the forest green, Matched the groomsmen and the Jäger machine. Never overdressed, never underdone, Flannel fits right under the northern sun, So before you judge my shirt by its check — Just know it’s been through a lot, and still gets respect. “I don’t own a suit. I own stories.” [Final Chorus — All In, Harmonized] Flannel formal — it’s how we roll, From the jobsite grind to the wedding role, It ain’t just cloth — it’s a lifestyle flex, Plaid’s the tux of the true north, next! Flannel formal — crisp and bold, Passed down from dads who never got cold, Tie your tie, I’ll button my fate, Plaid to the grave, lookin’ first-date great. [Outro — zipper + goose honk] So yeah, I wore flannel to your wedding. And your funeral. And I’ll wear it to my own.
