[Verse 1: Shock-rock male lead, sneering over stomping heavy drums] Hollow Creek Farm on the last night of the season Twelve bucks a head and the hay half freezin' Me and Tasha, Marcus and the twins up front Tractor crawlin' slow for the big October stunt Then a man climbs on at the first dark bend In a pair of old overalls, nobody's friend Sits down next to me on a bale by the wheel Says I've ridden this hayride, kid, I know the deal [Pre-Hook: Shock-rock male lead, crunching guitars tight and low] He leans in close with a voice like a gate Says showtime, chainsaw, barn, left side, wait [Hook: Shock-rock male lead, full band, crunching guitars] No spoilers, kid, but he's callin' every one Clown in the corn, man up on the silo, here they come Every scream at Hollow Creek, he says it 'fore it lands No spoilers, but this hayride's in my hands [Verse 2: Shock-rock male lead, harder, stomping drums] Barn on the left and the chainsaw roars Right on cue like he said, and the whole wagon snores Clown in the corn and we're laughin' out loud Man on the silo can't scare the crowd The actors in the dark start lookin' real sore Best scares they got and it's all a bore Tasha says who is he, Marcus says who cares He's the best part of the hayride, callin' out the scares [Hook: Shock-rock male lead, full band, crunching guitars] No spoilers, kid, but he's callin' every one Clown in the corn, man up on the silo, here they come Every scream at Hollow Creek, he says it 'fore it lands No spoilers, but this hayride's in my hands [Bridge: Shock-rock male lead, tractor stall, the engine dies on the downbeat, one bar of crickets, then the guitars crash back with the headlights] Last stretch, orchard, not a light, not a sound Everybody grinnin' and nobody lookin' round I said what's the last one, mister, what's the big surprise He said that one I never call, and the engine up and dies [Verse 3: Shock-rock male lead, full band, sinister shock-rock snarl] He was standin' in the headlights right in front of the grille Same old overalls and the same old stare, stock still And the driver's hands were shakin', and he muttered Silas, no That's the farmer on the poster at the shed from long ago Built the barn, built the chainsaw, built the silo and the clown Every scare he called was his, he's been ridin' every round Then he waved us on polite like a host would at a door And that's the one he never calls, 'cause that's the one he's for [Hook: Shock-rock male lead, full band, crunching guitars] No spoilers, kid, but he's callin' every one Clown in the corn, man up on the silo, here they come Every scream at Hollow Creek, he says it 'fore it lands No spoilers, but this hayride's in my hands [Outro: Shock-rock male lead, low and close] Next October, when a quiet man sits down beside the wheel No spoilers [End]
