Found a map on a tavern wall Didn’t need it, bought it all Three gold left and a dragon’s debt Best investment I ever made yet Saw a chest with a warning sign “Definitely cursed” in blood-red lines Party said don’t, I said watch Now we’re running from a demon god ⸻ Pre-Chorus Bad ideas got a VIP pass Every lesson learned never seems to last One more shiny thing… ⸻ Chorus I’m a loot goblin Hands off, I saw it first Another bad decision Couldn’t possibly make things worse Gold coins, red flags I collect them all the same If temptation had a leaderboard I’d be number one again Loot goblin! ⸻ Verse 2 Magic sword with a haunted soul Yeah I took it, self-control? Pocket full of cursed artifacts And somehow I still want more than that New quest, new crush, new grand scheme Running entirely on caffeine Inventory’s full but my heart says loot That’s usually when things go boom ⸻ Pre-Chorus Every mimic looked like treasure once Every disaster started out as fun One more shiny thing… ⸻ Chorus I’m a loot goblin Hands off, I saw it first Another bad decision Couldn’t possibly make things worse Gold coins, red flags I collect them all the same If temptation had a leaderboard I’d be number one again Loot goblin! ⸻ Bridge (music cuts) Rowan: Do you need it? Eva: Nope. Rowan: Can you afford it? Eva: Absolutely not. Rowan: Taking it anyway? Eva: Already equipped it. ⸻ Breakdown Greed check failed! Impulse control unavailable! Encumbered by my own bad choices! And somehow still picking up more! ⸻ Final Chorus I’m a loot goblin Hands off, I saw it first Another terrible decision Might be my favorite one on earth Gold coins, red flags I collect them all the same If temptation had a leaderboard I’d still be winning that game Loot goblin! Loot goblin! One more chest! One more quest! One more glorious mess! ⸻ Outro Inventory full… Picking up item… Inventory full… Picking up item…
