Pulse up. Jaw tight. Nothing wrong. Still feel like something might. Pulse run red when I wake up Head full speed, never brakes up Worst-case lined in a straight cut One thought turns to eight, what? Check door Check phone Check tone Check everything I fucking know Nothing there Still tense No threat Still waiting on what comes next Brain go click-click-click Every little sound gets big real quick Feet on ground but I feel that slip Ain’t even falling but I brace for it Run it back. Heart race No chase No one behind me Still looking both ways No smoke No flame Still smell trouble Before it came Tell me why I’m still bracing for a fight When nothing’s even happened yet Don’t fear the reaper You know that well I’ve got more anxiety Than heaven has hell Don’t fear the reaper I know him by name It’s everything before him That’s driving me insane Rehearse every answer Question never came Build ten conversations All inside my brain One second Two second Now it’s been an hour Tiny little thought Turn nuclear power Door creak Bad sign Text dry Flatline No reply Must mean something No it doesn’t Brain keep running Every silence gets translated Every pause gets complicated Every maybe gets upgraded Straight to fucking devastated Wait. Nothing happened. That’s the problem. I can make apocalypse Outta somebody typing “k” Boom. There it is. That stupid fucking feeling again. What if this What if that What if everything goes bad What if they leave What if I fail What if the floor drops straight to hell What if What if What if WHAT IF Shut up. Don’t fear the reaper You know that well I’ve got more anxiety Than heaven has hell Don’t fear the reaper I know him by name It’s everything before him That’s driving me insane If death came knocking I might let him in At least that motherfucker Would tell me what he wants No guessing No waiting No “maybe” No games One cold hand One honest name But living? Living got variables. Not scared of dying Scared of the wait Scared of my brain putting teeth on fate Scared of a maybe Scared of a pause Scared of effects when there ain’t even cause Scared of the phone Scared of the tone Scared I’ll fuck up when I’m sitting alone Scared of tomorrow Before it exists Brain got a trigger And everything clicks Don’t fear the reaper You know that well I’ve got more anxiety Than heaven has hell Don’t fear the reaper He’s easy to face It’s living with the question That keeps me awake Death ain’t the threat It’s the shit in my head Every fake little future I already lived Every disaster That ain’t happened yet Every imaginary bullet My body still felt Don’t fear the reaper No, death ain’t the threat It’s everything my mind says... Hasn’t. Happened. Yet.
