Blitzen (Rudolph Diss)

"Yo, you know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and me, Blitzen, But do you recall, that deer with the flashy nose? Yeah, we about to set the record straight." "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, yeah, his nose was bright, But one foggy Christmas Eve don’t make you right! All of the other reindeer put in real work, While you were just a backup—man, you such a perk. Santa called your name ‘cause he had no choice, Couldn’t see through the fog, so he needed a voice. But let’s be clear, you ain’t the MVP, Blitzen’s been runnin’ this since 1883!" "Yeah, Rudolph the Reindeer, that stupid freaking reindeer So what he had a big red nose? Ugh, Rudolph the Reindeer, I hate that freaking reindeer! He got it from playing in the snow! (Hahaha!)" "Rudolph, you got famous for your shiny nose, But what you really doin’? Strikin’ awkward poses? All of the other reindeer know the score, You the seasonal deer, I’m the all-star core. Yeah, we laughed and called you names, that’s true, But ain’t nobody jealous of that weak debut. You guided one sleigh, now you think you’re legit? Boy, you the North Pole's biggest one-hit!" "Let’s break it down, Rudolph. You got one foggy Christmas Eve to your name. The rest of us out here dodgin’ blizzards, haulin’ Santa’s heavy sack, year after year, rain or shine. But you? Nah, you just the glowstick they call when times get tough. Stay humble, little homie." "Yeah, Rudolph the Reindeer, that stupid freaking reindeer So what he had a big red nose? Ugh, Rudolph the Reindeer, I hate that freaking reindeer! He got it from playing in the snow! (Sniff sniff!)" "Then how the reindeer loved him? Oh, please, We only cheered ‘cause Santa said, ‘Say cheese!’ You ain’t built for the sleigh life, that’s a fact, You ain’t pullin’ this weight, just ridin’ in the back. Comet’s got the strength, Dasher’s got the speed, Blitzen bring the thunder, we supply the need. While you glow in the snow, thinkin’ you a star, I’m out here makin’ moves, takin’ us real far!" "So next time you wanna talk about being ‘special,’ remember this: the rest of us out here grindin’ 364 days a year while you get one foggy night and act like you’re runnin’ the game. Stay frosty, Rudolph… but not too frosty, or you might melt under the heat. Blitzen out!" "Yeah, Blitzen the Reindeer, forget that other reindeer! I'm the one we all should know! Hey, Blitzen the Reindeer, the greatest freaking reindeer! Next year I'll be running the show!(Ha ha ha ha!)"