Thought I'd save a little money, Do it all myself today. "How hard can it really be?" I heard myself say. First, I had to look up, How many quarts does this beast need? Five?... Six?... Maybe seven? Now my confidence is leaving me. It looks so easy on TV, A ten-minute guarantee. But every step brings something new, That I never saw on YouTube. Rollin' under that pickup truck... Hopin' I don't get stuck. One little job... that's what they say... Somehow took all day. Found a pan to catch the oil, Cracked the drain plug loose at last... Had that pan underneath, Missed the mark and had ta' move it fast. Hot oil running down my arm, Dripping off my elbow too. Now there's black spots on my shirt... And somehow on my tennis shoe. Now the filter's gotta come off, But where'd they hide that little guy? Every truck's a different puzzle, With no good reason why. Filter wrench keeps slipping off, Can't get both my hands in there. Finally turns—old oil dumps Straight into my face and hair. It looks so easy on TV... A ten-minute guarantee. Now I'm smellin' like old oil, In a lot of misery. Gotta' put on the new filter. Rub fresh oil 'round the seal. Hand-tight only... don't overdo it... Hope that's good and tight for real. Put the drain plug back again... Better check it one more time. 'Cause pouring in all this brand-new oil... Without that plug's a waste of time. Engine starts... I crawl beneath... Looking for a shiny drip. Everything appears okay... Guess I dodged that little trip. Then I scrub my hands and arms, Soap workin' overtime today. Still got oil behind my ears... Don't know how it stayed that way. Yeah, I saved a couple dollars... Least that's what I thought I'd do. Spent four hours on my back... Had ta' buy a shirt an' pair of shoes. Next time I need my oil changed... Here's exactly what I'll do... I'll drive into that oil-change place, Smile and hand 'em all the keys. They can crawl around beneath that truck... While I'm drinkin' coffee an' watchin' TV. Let somebody else fight that filter, Catch the drips and wipe the floor... I've done earned my DIY badge... I ain't doin' this no more!
