The Long Road Jig (or Fifty Ways to Fool the Miles)

A fantasy tavern folk funny song, Sung by one man, then the tavern joins in on the chorus

[(Sung by Elbrekt Elkhart on a dusty track at twilight, voice bright, boots tapping the rhythm on his shield like a drum)]
[Verse 1]
When the road goes on for forty days and the sky forgets to change,
When your boots have worn the same old dirt and your thoughts begin to range,
When the ox is slow, the sun is hot, and even songs feel thin,
Well, a wandering heart learns little tricks to keep the joy rolled in.
[Verse 2]
I taught the ox to answer “aye” when I shout “Who loves the green?”
Now every mile he nods his horns and keeps the pace serene.
I bet the Thief how many crows will land upon one tree—
He counts them wrong, I win his cheese, and supper comes for free!
[Chorus (easy sway, everybody hums the second line)]
Oh the road is long, but we belong
To the wind and wander-way,
So we trick the dust and cheat the rust
And laugh the miles away!
Hey-ho, the miles must go,
But boredom never will—
We’ll sing and scheme till the stars come dream
On the other side of the hill.
[Verse 3]
The Wizard swears he’ll levitate the campfire off the ground,
It rises half a finger-width then crashes safe and sound.
We cheer like it’s a miracle, he bows like some great mage—
Ten nights running, same old trick, and still we clap and praise.
[Verse 4]
The Barbarian and I play “Smite the Stone” with chunks of roadside shale,
He hurls them at the horizon, I call down thorns that never fail.
The stones explode in mid-air sparks, the thorns all miss their mark—
We call it art and name the game “Making light out of the dark.”
[Chorus (louder, someone starts stomping)]
Oh the road is long, but we belong
To the wind and wander-way,
So we trick the dust and cheat the rust
And laugh the miles away!
Hey-ho, the miles must go,
But boredom never will—
We’ll sing and scheme till the stars come dream
On the other side of the hill.
[Verse 5]
At dusk the Cleric juggles turnips blessed with holy light,
They glow like moons above his head and scare the bats in flight.
I whistle tunes the sparrows know and teach them new refrains—
By morning half the countryside is singing my campaigns.
[Verse 6]
When all else fails we play the game called “Lie Until You’re Blue,”
Each tale more wild than the one before—whoever blinks is through.
We’ve slain a thousand dragons, wedded queens, and stolen time—
The road believes us half the way, and that’s a hill we climb.
Final Chorus (full voice, marching pace, the whole camp singing now)
Oh the road is long, but we belong
To the wind and wander-way!
We’ll trick the dust and cheat the rust
Till the journey feels like play!
Hey-ho, the miles must go,
But our hearts stay light and free—
For every league of endless trail
Is another verse for me!
(Speaking) “Right—who’s got the next silly idea? We’ve still got twenty miles before breakfast!”

2783/7500

[(Sung by Elbrekt Elkhart on a dusty track at twilight, voice bright, boots tapping the rhythm on his shield like a drum)] [Verse 1] When the road goes on for forty days and the sky forgets to change, When your boots have worn the same old dirt and your thoughts begin to range, When the ox is slow, the sun is hot, and even songs feel thin, Well, a wandering heart learns little tricks to keep the joy rolled in. [Verse 2] I taught the ox to answer “aye” when I shout “Who loves the green?” Now every mile he nods his horns and keeps the pace serene. I bet the Thief how many crows will land upon one tree— He counts them wrong, I win his cheese, and supper comes for free! [Chorus (easy sway, everybody hums the second line)] Oh the road is long, but we belong To the wind and wander-way, So we trick the dust and cheat the rust And laugh the miles away! Hey-ho, the miles must go, But boredom never will— We’ll sing and scheme till the stars come dream On the other side of the hill. [Verse 3] The Wizard swears he’ll levitate the campfire off the ground, It rises half a finger-width then crashes safe and sound. We cheer like it’s a miracle, he bows like some great mage— Ten nights running, same old trick, and still we clap and praise. [Verse 4] The Barbarian and I play “Smite the Stone” with chunks of roadside shale, He hurls them at the horizon, I call down thorns that never fail. The stones explode in mid-air sparks, the thorns all miss their mark— We call it art and name the game “Making light out of the dark.” [Chorus (louder, someone starts stomping)] Oh the road is long, but we belong To the wind and wander-way, So we trick the dust and cheat the rust And laugh the miles away! Hey-ho, the miles must go, But boredom never will— We’ll sing and scheme till the stars come dream On the other side of the hill. [Verse 5] At dusk the Cleric juggles turnips blessed with holy light, They glow like moons above his head and scare the bats in flight. I whistle tunes the sparrows know and teach them new refrains— By morning half the countryside is singing my campaigns. [Verse 6] When all else fails we play the game called “Lie Until You’re Blue,” Each tale more wild than the one before—whoever blinks is through. We’ve slain a thousand dragons, wedded queens, and stolen time— The road believes us half the way, and that’s a hill we climb. Final Chorus (full voice, marching pace, the whole camp singing now) Oh the road is long, but we belong To the wind and wander-way! We’ll trick the dust and cheat the rust Till the journey feels like play! Hey-ho, the miles must go, But our hearts stay light and free— For every league of endless trail Is another verse for me! (Speaking) “Right—who’s got the next silly idea? We’ve still got twenty miles before breakfast!”

0/500