Australia is Garbage

Garage rock fused with nu-metal bounce at 145 BPM: rubbery bass, dry punchy drums, scratchy two-chord guitar, detuned chugs and handclaps, lounge-organ and steel-drum flashes, hard-cut alarm edits, tight sweaty mix, animated male talk-sarcasm barking into gang screams with sudden hardcore-thash bursts

[Verse 1]
Australia is a giant litter box,
full of kangaroos and venomous rocks.
Every tree has teeth, every creek has eyes,
every goddamn bug is the maximum size.

Snakes in the grass, sharks in the blue,
spiders big enough to pay rent too.
Everything there wants to murder your face—

Maybe just leave?
Buy a ticket for anyplace!

Yeah!

[Pre-Chorus]
And that accent—
not sexy at all(nope!)
Every vowel gets taken hostage
and dragged clear down the hall.

You squeeze every sound till it begs to be free,
then add three more vowels unnecessarily.

They’re wrong.

[Chorus]
AUSTRALIA!
I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

Stupid beaches!
Stupid sun!

AUSTRALIA!
WHAT A TERRIBLE PLACE!

With your gorgeous fucking coastline
and your stupid pretty face!

I don’t wanna go there—

Stupid beaches!
Stupid sun!

[nerdy male voice] "...how much are flights to Sydney?"

[Verse 2]
Barrier Reef?
More like Barrier...

Stupid beaches!
Stupid sun!

AUSTRALIA!
WHAT A TERRIBLE PLACE!

With your gorgeous fucking coastline
and your stupid pretty face!

[nerdy male voice]"Uh..."

FUCK IT, IT SUCKS.

Crystal water, stupid fish,
coral stretching out forever.
Yeah, sounds awful.

Then that dumb Opera House
sitting pretty by the bay.

Who wants to see it at sunset?

I'd rather snort red pepper flakes

[Pre-Chorus]
Kangaroos are ridiculous.
I think I'll take a pass.
Like somebody glued a deer
onto a steroid addict's ass.

Koalas look unconscious.
Wombats shit in cubes.
Your whole ecosystem feels
like God was trying out new moves.

[Chorus]
AUSTRALIA!
I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

Stupid beaches!
Stupid sun!

AUSTRALIA!
WHAT A TERRIBLE PLACE!

With your gorgeous fucking coastline
and your stupid pretty face!

I don’t wanna go there—

[nerdy male voice] "...can tourists hold koalas?"

[Verse 3]
Deserts full of nothing,
cities hanging off the edge,
rainforests trying to eat you,
cliffs pretending they’re a ledge.

Surf towns, wine country,
roads that run for days,
weird little pubs in nowhere towns
where I would absolutely stay.

[nerdy male voice]"if I had a head injury..."

[Bridge]
Hate the harbor.
Hate the reef.
Hate clean beaches underneath my feet.

Drive the coast?

Terrible.

See the Outback?

Garbage.

Spend three weeks there?

...

If I already bought the tickets.

"as a joke!"

[Final Chorus]
AUSTRALIA!
I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

amazing beaches!
blazing sun!

AUSTRALIA!
YOU ABSOLUTE HOLE!

Reefs and bays and giant skies
would be terrible for my soul!

I don’t wanna visit!
I don’t wanna roam!

Twenty fucking hours
is too damn far from home!

...

But if somebody paid—

I’d go.

Immediately.

[nerdy male voice]"NAAAAH!"

...

Save me a window seat...to that fuckin' dump

Save

2667/7500

[Verse 1] Australia is a giant litter box, full of kangaroos and venomous rocks. Every tree has teeth, every creek has eyes, every goddamn bug is the maximum size. Snakes in the grass, sharks in the blue, spiders big enough to pay rent too. Everything there wants to murder your face— Maybe just leave? Buy a ticket for anyplace! Yeah! [Pre-Chorus] And that accent— not sexy at all(nope!) Every vowel gets taken hostage and dragged clear down the hall. You squeeze every sound till it begs to be free, then add three more vowels unnecessarily. They’re wrong. [Chorus] AUSTRALIA! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! Stupid beaches! Stupid sun! AUSTRALIA! WHAT A TERRIBLE PLACE! With your gorgeous fucking coastline and your stupid pretty face! I don’t wanna go there— Stupid beaches! Stupid sun! [nerdy male voice] "...how much are flights to Sydney?" [Verse 2] Barrier Reef? More like Barrier... Stupid beaches! Stupid sun! AUSTRALIA! WHAT A TERRIBLE PLACE! With your gorgeous fucking coastline and your stupid pretty face! [nerdy male voice]"Uh..." FUCK IT, IT SUCKS. Crystal water, stupid fish, coral stretching out forever. Yeah, sounds awful. Then that dumb Opera House sitting pretty by the bay. Who wants to see it at sunset? I'd rather snort red pepper flakes [Pre-Chorus] Kangaroos are ridiculous. I think I'll take a pass. Like somebody glued a deer onto a steroid addict's ass. Koalas look unconscious. Wombats shit in cubes. Your whole ecosystem feels like God was trying out new moves. [Chorus] AUSTRALIA! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! Stupid beaches! Stupid sun! AUSTRALIA! WHAT A TERRIBLE PLACE! With your gorgeous fucking coastline and your stupid pretty face! I don’t wanna go there— [nerdy male voice] "...can tourists hold koalas?" [Verse 3] Deserts full of nothing, cities hanging off the edge, rainforests trying to eat you, cliffs pretending they’re a ledge. Surf towns, wine country, roads that run for days, weird little pubs in nowhere towns where I would absolutely stay. [nerdy male voice]"if I had a head injury..." [Bridge] Hate the harbor. Hate the reef. Hate clean beaches underneath my feet. Drive the coast? Terrible. See the Outback? Garbage. Spend three weeks there? ... If I already bought the tickets. "as a joke!" [Final Chorus] AUSTRALIA! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! amazing beaches! blazing sun! AUSTRALIA! YOU ABSOLUTE HOLE! Reefs and bays and giant skies would be terrible for my soul! I don’t wanna visit! I don’t wanna roam! Twenty fucking hours is too damn far from home! ... But if somebody paid— I’d go. Immediately. [nerdy male voice]"NAAAAH!" ... Save me a window seat...to that fuckin' dump Save

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