[Intro - upright piano vamp, brass stab, spoken theatrical] Picture it: the sky is on fire. The dead walk the earth. And we... went fishing. [Verse 1 - rapid patter] Now the Helltide hit at a quarter to dread, meteors droppin' on the top of your head, the Blood Maiden's wailin' and the cinders are red— so naturally we grabbed a couple poles instead! I said "baby, it's the apocalypse, the literal end," she said "perfect, grab a worm, I'll meet you 'round the bend," and I swear on every demon that I ever put down, this woman out-fished the whole entire town— [Pre-Chorus - building] 'Cause she casts ONE (one!), reels a mythic outta nowhere, casts TWO (two!), pulls a second, I just stand and stare, casts THREE (three!) and she's done, packs it up with a grin— three little casts and two mythics rolled in! [Chorus - big theatrical, gang vocals] She got two fish! (two fish!) and I got a COWBELL! Two mythic beauties and a story to tell! She got the magic, I got the SMELL— of seaweed and sticks and a rusty old bell! (two fish! — and a cowbell!) [Verse 2 - rapid patter, faster] But GREG! — oh, Greg is a stubborn little ox, Greg cast a line like he's pickin' a lock, cast it ten, twenty, thirty, lost the count, pulled up a coffee cup — a considerable amount of seaweed, then sticks, then a fistful of moss, a rusted-out cowbell (a devastating loss), then he reeled — I'm not kidding — he reeled in THREE zombies, still soggy, just drippin' at me! [Pre-Chorus - frantic] And he holds up the cowbell like he WON the whole thing, covered in rust and a barnacle ring, ten-plus pulls and a haul made of junk, and the man is delighted, he's positively DRUNK— [Chorus] He got NO fish! (no fish!) just a rusty old COWBELL! A cup and some zombies and a fungal-y shell! She got the magic, he got the SMELL— of seaweed and sticks and a rusty old bell! [Bridge - half-time, theatrical] Now allow me to connect the dramatic throughline: it's the SEAL all over, it's the charm-slot decline, the universe adores her — it's mathematically true— [Female - sultry, dry] "I simply have better luck than you." [Male - spoken] ...She does. She absolutely does. But here's my retort— [building] I married the luckiest girl in the realm, and I'm Greg, with a cowbell, and I'm takin' the helm— [Final Chorus - huge, key up] She got two fish! (two fish!) and I got a COWBELL! Three little casts and she fished us out of hell! She got the magic, I got the smell— but I'd sink with you, darlin', so ring my rusty bell! (More cowbell! — MORE COWBELL!) [Outro - spoken, then sung tag] We threw the zombies back. We kept the cowbell. ...obviously. (Two fish... and a cowbell!) [End]
