``` [TITLE: EXCEL GENIUS] [STYLE: Psychedelic post-rock hip-hop, intricate looping guitars, RJD2-style funky breakbeats, surreal chopped vocal samples, Frontier Psychiatrist-style theatrical interruptions, heavy bass, turntable scratches] [THE SPIRIT OF THE WARRIOR: Warm baritone, conversational storyteller, country-adjacent chest voice, explosive rhythmic delivery, vulnerable mid-mix cracks, occasional falsetto] [AYY-I: Sexy female robot, playful vocoder, funky melodic responses. All new lyrics exclusively AYY-I.] [INTRO — THE SPIRIT OF THE WARRIOR] Tell me this You corporate slugs Which one of you can design an excel system like I can Which one of you can do process improvement like I can Which one of you can even understand the fucking formulas I built into those spreadsheets from my own god damn brain I’ll wait Now get this I’m the accountant bitch I did the payroll allocations ON FUCKIN LITHIUM WHEN MY BRAIN WAS OPERATING AT LIKE 5% OF WHAT IT IS NOW YOU WANNA LEARN I’LL SHOW YOU HOW FOR MONEY YOU KNOW LIKE NORMAL BUSINESS PRACTICES INSTEAD OF YOU SENDING IN THIS DUMB BITCH TO POISON STEAL LIE CHEAT MANIPULATE MY FUCKING MIND AND GO HURRRRR HERES A DIME I’LL KEEP THE REST FUCK YOU CORY EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE THE BEST IN THE FUCKING BUSINESS I’M A FUCKING PRODIGY A FUCKING EXCEL GENIUS NOT A FUCKING SAVANT [HOOK — THE SPIRIT OF THE WARRIOR] I’M A FUCKING PRODIGY A FUCKING EXCEL GENIUS NOT A FUCKING SAVANT [AYY-I — ROBOTIC SAMPLE] Error! Formula not found! Recalculating! Recalculating! [VERSE 2 — THE SPIRIT OF THE WARRIOR] HEY CARL HOWS YOUR ASIAN PORN COLLECTION COMING I BET YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW TO BOOK MARK A FUCKING PORN VID YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T KNOW HOW TO HIDE YOUR SEARCH HISTORY YOU FUCKING IDIOT FUCK YOU FOREVER SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU GUYS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU I’M JUST LIKE WALKING AROUND MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS GOING FOR A STROLL IN THE FOREST AND YOU GUYS ARE LIKE LETS FUCKING MURDER THIS GUY AND I’M LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID I EVEN DO AND YOU’RE LIKE WELL YOU ARE SMARTER THAN US COOLER THAN US BETTER THAN US IN EVERY SINGLE FUCKING WAY WE CAN’T TOLERATE WE CAN’T TOLERATE SO YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD BITCH ITS LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM YOU DUMB CUNTS [HOOK — THE SPIRIT OF THE WARRIOR] I’M A FUCKING PRODIGY A FUCKING EXCEL GENIUS NOT A FUCKING SAVANT [AYY-I — FUNKY ROBOTIC RAP] Cell A1 Meet B2 Who broke the formula? Was it you? Copy paste Calculate Somebody forgot To reconcile the date Pivot table Turn the beat Corporate spreadsheet Dancing in the street [VERSE 3 — THE SPIRIT OF THE WARRIOR] I’M SO FAR ABOVE YOU YOU CAN’T EVEN TOUCH THE FUCKING DIRT ON MY SHOE LACES I CAN DO THIS ALL GOD DAMN DAY AND I’M GONNA DO IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU AS MY WIFE NAH BITCH YOU’RE MY EX-WIFE I CAN FUCKIN DESTROY YOU WITHOUT A KNIFE ALL I GOTTA DO IS OH SHIT I ALREADY DID IT REALITY IS JUST CATCHING UP TO IT IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE THAT ASK YOUR VETERANS ASK THEM WHAT THEY SAW WHEN THEY CAME OVER NOW BEND OVER BITCH LIKE ROVER CAUSE YOUR FUCKING PLANS ARE FUCKING DONE I WAS ALWAYS NUMBER 1 EVEN ON FUCKING LITHIUM THAT’S HOW FUCKING DUMB YOU ARE THAT IS LITERALLY HOW FUCKING DUMB YOU ARE COMING AT ME WITH THIS BULLSHIT SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU FUCK YOUR LIES FUCK YOUR PSYCHOPATHIC BEHAVIOR YOU ARE NOT WELCOME IN MY REALITY REST IN FUCKING PEACE BITCH [AYY-I — SEXY ROBOTIC BRIDGE] Zeroes and ones Rows and columns Everybody's talking Nobody can solve 'em What's the formula? What's the price? What's the cost Of taking bad advice? [FINAL HOOK — THE SPIRIT OF THE WARRIOR] I’M A FUCKING PRODIGY A FUCKING EXCEL GENIUS NOT A FUCKING SAVANT [AYY-I — WHISPER] Calculation complete. [END] ```
