Late night boredom, where bad ideas grow, The house is too quiet, and your brain says “Let's go.” The manual’s dusty, warning label faded, Common sense temporarily outdated. There’s a line between curiosity And a trip to urgent care reality. Don’t put your dick in the vacuum, no, no—don’t you try, It’s not a science experiment, it’s a bad idea guy. If it spins, sucks, and it whirs, That’s the universe saying, “Hey—don’t.” We’ve all had thoughts we shouldn’t test, Some ideas fail the safety vest. Just ‘cause you can doesn’t mean you should, History’s full of “I thought I could.” Read the room, read the sign, Read the part where it says “not designed.” Don’t put your dick in the vacuum, learn from those before, Every warning label’s got a story we ignore. If you value peace, dignity, and pride, Keep all your important parts outside. This is not a TED Talk, This is not a dare. This is future-you begging Past-you to care. Don’t put your dick in the vacuum— I sing it ‘cause I love you, not ‘cause I’m your dad. Some lessons don’t need proof, Some jokes don’t need truth— Please… don’t just don't put your dick in the vacuum. Unplug the thought. Walk away. Live to make better choices… but maybe tomorrow.
