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Dwarven combat jelly!

April 14, 2025 at 6:07 AMv3.5

[Verse 1] Forged in vats beneath the stone, A recipe from flesh and bone, Glowing green and tasting vile— We eat it raw and march a mile. It burns like ale, it stinks like war, We slap it on and ask for more. No proof it works, no lab has said, But Grothar swears it raised the dead! [Chorus] Combat Jelly! Rub it in, take the pain! Combat Jelly! For glory, blood, and gain! Stronger! Faster! So we scream and yell— We swear by the gods, it works! (But who can really tell?) [Verse 2] Thrag took three—his beard caught fire, Claimed he gained a foot in height and ire. Borin jellied up and jumped a chasm, (It was more like a stumble-spasm). We smear it on our axes, too, 'Til everything’s a toxic hue. No enemy escapes the smell— It’s fear or death or just the gel. [Verse 3] Dunrik claims he sees through time, Says the jelly "tastes like mountain crime." Kragg grew gills and tried to swim— In lava. Didn’t end well for him. Snorri hears the walls confess, And Dorga arm-wrestled death in a dress. [Bridge – Spoken growl over chugging riffs] They said it’s just mold and marmot fat. They said we’re mad. They said it doesn’t do anything. …They’re all dead now. Coincidence? [Chorus – Heavier, doubled vocals] Combat Jelly! No side effects, we think! Combat Jelly! Made Thrain too strong to blink! Tougher! Dumber! Our pride won’t quell— We’d die for this jelly... (And we probably will.) [Final Chorus – Gang vocals, victorious tone] Combat Jelly! Smeared on steel and skin! Combat Jelly! Rub it deep—let war begin! Louder! Wilder! Sound the battle bell— We charge with the jelly! We die with the jelly! We LIVE for the jelly... (Though it tastes like hell.) [Outro – Echoing growl] Jellllyyyyyyyy…

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