[Intro] (soft room tone, distant reverb, almost spoken) I’ve lost friends And lovers too… [Verse 1] I’ve lost friends And lovers too Watched whole damn worlds collapse Inside my room I won’t pretend Like I’ve got it all Like I’ve got a map Or answers on my wall I figured out I became somebody I swore I’d never be Cold hands, dead eyes Talking like a stranger wearing me I made a mess Now I’m sweeping broken glass for hours Trying to rebuild myself With shaking hands and dying flowers And every night I get terrified That one day they’ll all realize There’s nothing underneath this skin Just static, guilt, and appetite But somewhere deep inside There’s still a pulse that keeps on saying “All you really needed Was somebody who stayed.” [Pre-Chorus] (tighten; more breath than belt) How do you do that? ’Cause I can’t Do what I need to do And stick to the plan Every promise turns to smoke The second I relax I keep losing parts of myself And never getting them back [Chorus] So tell me How do you do that? Is it wrong To wish that I did But know I’ll never belong? How did I do that? In my head I feel like I’m the only girl Still waking up half dead But you already knew that And I swear I’m trying to be better But it’s always there How did I do that? How did I do that? [Post-Chorus] (dry, close, almost afterthought) Maybe I was never hard to love Maybe I was just hard to hold [Verse 2] I sabotage the good things Before they get too close Turn every “I love you” Into another ghost I laugh too loud To hide the panic in my chest Everybody thinks I’m healing I’m just getting better at the act And God, I hate How nostalgia tastes Like cheap wine and old mistakes I replay conversations Like they’re crime scenes I can’t escape Sometimes I wanna disappear Move somewhere nobody knows my name Start over clean Without the rot Without the shame But I’d still bring myself along And that’s the part I can’t outrun You can change your city Change your face But not the person you become [Pre-Chorus 2] How do you do that? Stay alive Without turning every dark thought Into a lullaby How do people wake up normal And just survive? I swear to God I’ve spent my whole damn life Trying to find out why [Chorus 2] So tell me How do you do that? Is it wrong To wish that I did But know I’ll never belong? How did I do that? In my head I feel like I’m the only girl Still stuck inside the wreck But you already knew that And I swear I’m trying to be better But it’s always there How did I do that? How did I do that? [Bridge] (music strips to piano + tape hiss; whispered, then opens) Maybe I’m not broken Maybe I’m just tired Maybe every wound I carry Doesn’t need a fire Maybe being human Means bleeding in the dark Trying to keep a fragile little universe together With a half-dead heart And maybe love ain’t magic Maybe it’s staying Even after seeing all the ugly parts And not escaping [Final Chorus] (full body; gang doubles on the last “how did I”) So tell me How do you do that? How do you wake up every day And not collapse? How did I do that? Lose myself Trying so hard to be somebody else But you already knew that Didn’t you? Every scar I tried to hide Was visible to you And I swear I’m trying to be better Even if it takes forever How did I do that? How did I do that? How did I do that? [Outro] (soft piano, vocal almost gone) I’ve lost friends And lovers too But somehow I’m still here Talking to you.
