[Intro: stomping floor toms and the glam riff] Jack's got a turnip with a coal inside Jack's got the whole wide road tonight [Verse 1] Jack was a drunk in a crooked little town Owed every barman for a mile around Never paid a tab, and he never told the truth Grin like a gate with a missing tooth Devil came to take him on a Halloween Jack said, buy one more, and I'll come clean Devil turned himself to a shilling for the round Jack dropped him in his pocket with a cross, buttoned down Let him out for a promise, ten years free Ten years later, Jack had him up a tree [Chorus] No vacancy up, no vacancy down Jack's got a lantern and the whole damn town Heaven's got a sign, and the other place too No vacancy, baby, so I'm coming for you [Verse 2] Said, fetch me an apple, and the devil climbed high Jack carved a cross in the bark and left him up there to fry Devil swore on his horns he would never take Jack So Jack climbed down, and he never looked back Drank every cellar from the hills to the coast Laughed at the priest, and he laughed at the ghost Died in a ditch in eighteen-oh-nine Walked up to the gate, and he was first in line Saint at the desk took a look at his file Said, not with that record, son, not by a mile [Chorus] No vacancy up, no vacancy down Jack's got a lantern and the whole damn town Heaven's got a sign, and the other place too No vacancy, baby, so I'm coming for you [Verse 3] So he walked downstairs to the furnace door Devil came out laughing, said, I swore, I swore Threw him one hot coal for the road and the cold Jack put it in a turnip, and it glowed like gold Every other soul got a verdict and a cell Jack got every road, and he's doing pretty well Rich man's buried in a box of pine Jack's on your street at a quarter to nine Kids carve his face on a pumpkin on the step Jack walks by grinning, says, ain't caught me yet [Bridge: guitar riff and toms] They call it a curse, I call it a key Nobody's landlord's coming after me Never pay rent and I never go to bed Every road on earth is mine instead [Final Chorus: the floor tom stomp on every beat] No vacancy up, no vacancy down Jack's got a lantern and the whole damn town Heaven's got a sign, and the other place too No vacancy, baby, so I'm stopping at you [Outro: riff and stomp, one crash] Light on the porch and a face on the stair That ain't a pumpkin grinning, Jack's already there [End]
