Sixteen Czechoslovakians in the Pine Barrens

(Verse 1: Paulie) We’re stompin’ through the snow, lost in the night, Can’t find Valery, the commando, outta sight, He’s slippery as ice, vanished in the trees, Sixteen Czechoslovakians? What does that mean, please? (Chorus: Paulie & Chris) Oh, where’s Valery, the man with the stare? Wasn’t he an interior decorator? We swear! He’s gone like a ghost, vanished without a trace, We’re freezing our balls off, lost in this place! (Verse 2: Chris) Paulie, I’m tellin’ ya, this don’t make sense, The guy’s like Houdini, hoppin’ a fence, Sixteen guys he disappeared, but how’d he do it? Must be a pro, but we don’t have a clue yet! (Chorus: Paulie & Chris) Oh, where’s Valery, the man with the stare? Wasn’t he an interior decorator? We swear! He’s gone like a ghost, vanished without a trace, We’re freezing our balls off, lost in this place! (Bridge: Tony Enters) Then out of the dark, here comes Tony with a glare, "Are you two idiots? What’s wrong with your flair?" He’s pissed off and cold, ready to explode, "Valery’s a commando, you should’ve known the code!" (Verse 3: Tony) "Sixteen Czechoslovakians? What’s that you’re sayin’? He’s a stone-cold killer, not someone who’s playin’! Now get your asses moving, back to the car, You’ve been chasin’ your tails, won’t get far!" (Chorus: Paulie, Chris, & Tony) Oh, where’s Valery, the man with the stare? Wasn’t he an interior decorator? We swear! But Tony set us straight, this guy’s a beast, Now we’re hightailin’ it out, headin’ back East! (Outro: Paulie & Chris) Lost in the Pine Barrens, we thought we were toast, Chasin’ ghosts and shadows, almost gave up the ghost, But with Tony by our side, we made it through, Now we’ll never forget what a commando can do!