Yeah… They told me sit down, said they found somethin’. Funny how a single sentence can divide a whole life into before and after. I remember that room like a photograph, Clock on the wall, little plant by the glass, Doctor kept talkin’, I was hearin’ half, Everything after that got buried in static. Walked to the parking lot, keys in my hand, Couldn’t start the truck, couldn’t understand, Thought about tomorrow, thought about plans, Then tomorrow disappeared like it slipped through my hands. Called my mother, couldn’t find words, Tried to sound strong but my whole voice shook, Everybody sayin’, “You’ll get through this,” While I’m starin’ at a future that just got took. Went home and sat in the dark all night, Lookin’ at pictures from a different life, Never knew fear could feel this quiet, Like a thief in the room with the lights still bright. Nobody tells you what it does inside, How it changes your heart while you’re fightin’ to survive, Everybody sees the scars, the pain, the fight, But they don’t see the war that keeps me up at night. Cancer took a lot from me, But there’s one thing it couldn’t take, No matter how hard it tried, I’m still me. Months go by and the mirror changed, Face got thinner and my patience changed, Started snappin’ at people I love, Then hatin’ myself for the things I’d say. Friends stopped callin’ as much as before, Not because they didn’t care anymore, They just didn’t know what to do or say, And I got tired of explainin’ my pain every day. I got jealous of strangers complainin’ online, About traffic, bad coffee, wastin’ their time, Thinkin’, “I’d trade places in a second,” Then feel guilty for the thoughts inside my mind. Some days I prayed, Some days I cursed, Some days I smiled, Some days it hurt. Some days I felt like I was already gone, Even while my heart kept beatin’ on. Nobody tells you what it does inside, How it changes your heart while you’re fightin’ to survive, Everybody sees the scars, the pain, the fight, But they don’t see the war that keeps me up at night. Cancer took a lot from me, But there’s one thing it couldn’t take, No matter how hard it tried, I’m still me. Then one day I looked at the people around me, Saw the tears they tried not to show around me, Saw my anger wasn’t only hurtin’ me, Every wall I built was a prison around me. So I started sayin’ things I never said, Started tellin’ people what was in my head, Started spendin’ less time scared of death, And more time livin’ with the breaths I had left. Learned that strength ain’t never been pretendin’, Learned that courage ain’t always winnin’, Sometimes courage is bein’ honest, When your whole world feels like it’s endin’. And if tomorrow comes, I’ll take it. And if it don’t, I made peace. ‘Cause this disease can touch my body, But it ain’t the author of my story. Maybe I beat it. Maybe I don’t. Maybe my name becomes a memory spoken by people I love. But if this road taught me anything, It’s that life was never measured by how long we stayed. It’s measured by who we were while we were here. And cancer… Cancer took my certainty. It took my comfort. It took pieces of my life. But it never took my heart. It never took my soul. It never took my soul. And it never took me.
