Monday Mood Swings

Country, acoustic guitars, twang, fun, bouncy, very fast pace, a Little Rock n roll

V5.5

You’re worried if there’s clean clothes, but let’s look at the root:
Your jeans aren't in the dryer 'cause they weren’t in the laundry shoot!
And yeah, you always put gas in my tank like a champ.
While I’m doing school projects, ugh, your attitudes like a side cramp.
We’ve got three beautiful girls and a yard full of ducks.
While I’m over here spending on more chickens and star-bucks.

Oh, take a deep breath, honey, look in your pockets!
The dog beepers are right here in-front of your eye sockets
You’re spinning in a blur, getting all emotional on me
But there’s nowhere else on earth I’d rather be.
For twenty-four years since we were sweet sixteen,
You’ve been my grumpy king, I’ve been your baby girl wearing this diamond ring.

We’re drowning in daughters and a house full of noise
Just a few kids fighting and bickering, oh the estrogen joys
But can we talk about midnight when you get the late cravings?
You leave every cupboard wide open, and microwaving 
You scratch your butt in your long John’s, standing by the fridge light,
Drinking straight from the milk gallon in the middle of the night
Chomping your candy so loud it echoes through the hall
That’s why your pants are tight, honey, it’s not the stress from me at all!
Your chewing drives me crazy, it’s a literal crime.
But glaring at you doing it is my favorite pastime.
So keep on cooking that dinner, babe, it smells so good hun
Even if you’re acting like a diva at age forty-one
I’ll keep spending your cash, you keep pumping my gas
Twenty-four years of putting up with your ass
"Do it tonight?" well, if you promise to behave.
Shut your dresser drawers, I might give into you more. 
Just cute little answers from your smart-ass wife.
I love you grumpy, for the rest of my life.
(Fade out with a cheerful chicken cluck, a loud goose honk, and a playful kiss sound)

3042/7500

I hear you pacing the kitchen, slamming the doors Bless your cranky old heart, you’re on one of your last nerves You’re whining about towels and your tight-fitting jeans While I’m sneaking your debit card behind the scenes You’re strutting through town while, holding the cash. I’m buying Amazon. “Oh, look my new eyelashes!” "Honey, it’s so needed!" I say with a grin. As another brown box gets smuggled right in. Then I head to the drive-thru for a iced Starbucks treat While you’re at the stove making something amazing to eat. Oh, take a deep breath, honey, look in your pockets! The dog beepers are right here in-front of your eye sockets You’re spinning in a blur, getting all emotional on me. But there’s nowhere else on earth I’d rather be For twenty-four years since we were sweet sixteen. You’ve been my grumpy king, I’ve been your baby girl wearing this diamond ring. We’re drowning in daughters and a house full of noise Just a few kids fighting and bickering, oh the estrogen joys. Now don't go blaming my birds for your mid-life crisis. My goose is so sweet. You just misunderstand him. Don't stress over our daughter, she’s doing her best. Looking cute in that little strapless dress. You’re worried if there’s clean clothes, but let’s look at the root: Your jeans aren't in the dryer 'cause they weren’t in the laundry shoot! And yeah, you always put gas in my tank like a champ. While I’m doing school projects, ugh, your attitudes like a side cramp. We’ve got three beautiful girls and a yard full of ducks. While I’m over here spending on more chickens and star-bucks. Oh, take a deep breath, honey, look in your pockets! The dog beepers are right here in-front of your eye sockets You’re spinning in a blur, getting all emotional on me But there’s nowhere else on earth I’d rather be. For twenty-four years since we were sweet sixteen, You’ve been my grumpy king, I’ve been your baby girl wearing this diamond ring. We’re drowning in daughters and a house full of noise Just a few kids fighting and bickering, oh the estrogen joys But can we talk about midnight when you get the late cravings? You leave every cupboard wide open, and microwaving You scratch your butt in your long John’s, standing by the fridge light, Drinking straight from the milk gallon in the middle of the night Chomping your candy so loud it echoes through the hall That’s why your pants are tight, honey, it’s not the stress from me at all! Your chewing drives me crazy, it’s a literal crime. But glaring at you doing it is my favorite pastime. So keep on cooking that dinner, babe, it smells so good hun Even if you’re acting like a diva at age forty-one I’ll keep spending your cash, you keep pumping my gas Twenty-four years of putting up with your ass "Do it tonight?" well, if you promise to behave. Shut your dresser drawers, I might give into you more. Just cute little answers from your smart-ass wife. I love you grumpy, for the rest of my life. (Fade out with a cheerful chicken cluck, a loud goose honk, and a playful kiss sound)

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