Woke up, fuck, what time is it? phone's dead. Shit, late again, gonna be another long day, hit the pavement, shoes unlaced, ain't even smoked one yet today but a cigarette's all I can taste, I don't even think I washed my face, same jeans from yesterday, at leas the shirt is clean, I really need to change how I'm living these days, I'm close to fucking off everything, I've used up all my options, maxed out my credit lines, called in my final lifeline, boy I've really outdone myself this time, but I won't complain, nobody but myself to blame, besides, like they say, today is a brand new day, where there is a will there is a way, too bad I can't just sleepwalk this week away, nope I need to focus and get back in the game...Here we go again Hit the back door at work, straight to the bathroom, no need to lock the door, I ain't doing that shit no more, I guess that is one thing to be thankful for, although when I was doing drugs I was never this poor, I've traded getting high for getting broke, gambling just replaced the dope, I'm worse off now then I was before, never thought a gambling addiction was even something real, now I'm jonesing harder to pull down a lever than I ever was to push a needle. I need to hit a jackpot way worse than I ever wanted to hit a shot. The final blast at the end of the sack, at least I could still enjoy that...but the final spin with my last dollar in, even if I win I need to win again, and then it suddenly just comes to an end, dangling there once again, I don't even know who I am anymore, I used to know who I was before, I was just a good guy that did a little drugs, someone that you called when you needed help, someone you could trust, even though I was kind of a fuck up, you prayed for me and looked the other way, hell most people never even knew anyway, but it's getting harder and harder to hide it these days, with the mood swings and the loose pocket change, can't even afford the bus fare most days, yeah now Im the guy you call to bail you out when your back Is against the wall, but I'm too high risk to be put on the payroll, they know they get one of the best for less if they pay me under the table, yeah everyone is drawing on me, but they will fold before they bet on me, now they got me in their pocket holding debt over me, an ace in the hole, gambling is my only hope, gambling is all that I know, gambling is all that I do, gambling is all that's left, it's gambling and then it's death, but I'm not worried, this is when I do my best, just throw caution to the wind, wherever it blows is another chance to win, it's all or nothing yeah I'm all in , sometimes all it takes is to stop and wash my face, rinse off the shame, dust off the blame, and get back in the game, I tell myself everything is going to be ok, that things are going to change, that my luck is about to swing the other way, here we go again, I got no choice but to win.
