Custody Hearing

dark flamenco rock, dark comedy, cinematic, alt-rock, gothic rock, atmospheric, storytelling

[Intro]
(driving flamenco guitar, sharp palmas, a single gavel hit)

[Spoken, bailiff, loud]
All rise! The Honorable Judge Morales presiding.

[Spoken, judge, deadpan]
Be seated. Today we hear the case of... I'm sorry. Is this real?

[Spoken, lawyer]
Yes, Your Honor.

[Verse 1]
Two families came to court today, they brought their lawyers too
A widow and a widow, and they both said, "I'm not through"
One lost a husband of seventy, one lost a man of thirty
They said, "That dick was ours, and your honor, it was worthy"

[Chorus]
Order, order, order in the court
Who gets the dick on the weekend? Let the judge sort
Two dicks, one man, and a hell of a fight
Order, order, order, it's a long, long night

[Spoken, old donor's wife, shaking her head]
He never used it, Your Honor. But it was mine. I want it back.

[Spoken, young donor's widow, crying]
He was the proudest part of my husband. And now he belongs to a stranger.

[Verse 2]
The lawyer stood and shouted, "Objection, Your Honor, wait!
This man did not consent to this, it's a case of the fate!"
The judge said, "Overruled, the donor did consent"
The man said, "Not to this, your honor, I've been through the torment"

[Chorus]
Order, order, order in the court
Who gets the dick on the weekend? Let the judge sort
Two dicks, one man, and a hell of a fight
Order, order, order, it's a long, long night

[Spoken, judge, reading the file]
Let me make sure I understand. The defendant has one old dick from a seventy-year-old man, and one new dick from a thirty-year-old man, and both families claim visitation rights.

[Spoken, the man, quietly]
Yes, Your Honor.

[Spoken, the man, rising slowly, calm and confident]
Your Honor, may I say something? They are attached to me. Both of them. Surgically. If anyone wants visitation, they will have to visit me.

[Instrumental, flamenco guitar solo, gavel hits]

[Bridge]
The jury looked at each other, no one knew what to say
One juror whispered, "Is that even legal anyway?"
The judge took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and sighed
He said, "In thirty years of court, I have never heard such sense"

[Spoken, judge, solemn]
After careful consideration, this court rules as follows.

[Beat switch, band returns, same intensity as the first chorus]

[Spoken, judge]
The defendant is the sole and lawful owner of both. Visitation denied. The plaintiffs will pay all court costs.

[Spoken, the man, shouting, overjoyed]
Yes! Finally something goes my way!

[Spoken, judge, deadpan]
Don't get used to it.

[Final Chorus, voice only, no instruments]
Order, order, order in the court
Who gets the dick on the weekend? Let the judge sort
Two dicks, one man, and I won the fight
Order, order, order, and goodnight

[Outro, short, gavel hit, guitar tremolo fading]

[Spoken, bailiff]
Court is adjourned.

[Spoken, the man, quietly, smiling]
I won.

[Spoken, judge]
Noted.

2870/7500

[Intro] (driving flamenco guitar, sharp palmas, a single gavel hit) [Spoken, bailiff, loud] All rise! The Honorable Judge Morales presiding. [Spoken, judge, deadpan] Be seated. Today we hear the case of... I'm sorry. Is this real? [Spoken, lawyer] Yes, Your Honor. [Verse 1] Two families came to court today, they brought their lawyers too A widow and a widow, and they both said, "I'm not through" One lost a husband of seventy, one lost a man of thirty They said, "That dick was ours, and your honor, it was worthy" [Chorus] Order, order, order in the court Who gets the dick on the weekend? Let the judge sort Two dicks, one man, and a hell of a fight Order, order, order, it's a long, long night [Spoken, old donor's wife, shaking her head] He never used it, Your Honor. But it was mine. I want it back. [Spoken, young donor's widow, crying] He was the proudest part of my husband. And now he belongs to a stranger. [Verse 2] The lawyer stood and shouted, "Objection, Your Honor, wait! This man did not consent to this, it's a case of the fate!" The judge said, "Overruled, the donor did consent" The man said, "Not to this, your honor, I've been through the torment" [Chorus] Order, order, order in the court Who gets the dick on the weekend? Let the judge sort Two dicks, one man, and a hell of a fight Order, order, order, it's a long, long night [Spoken, judge, reading the file] Let me make sure I understand. The defendant has one old dick from a seventy-year-old man, and one new dick from a thirty-year-old man, and both families claim visitation rights. [Spoken, the man, quietly] Yes, Your Honor. [Spoken, the man, rising slowly, calm and confident] Your Honor, may I say something? They are attached to me. Both of them. Surgically. If anyone wants visitation, they will have to visit me. [Instrumental, flamenco guitar solo, gavel hits] [Bridge] The jury looked at each other, no one knew what to say One juror whispered, "Is that even legal anyway?" The judge took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, and sighed He said, "In thirty years of court, I have never heard such sense" [Spoken, judge, solemn] After careful consideration, this court rules as follows. [Beat switch, band returns, same intensity as the first chorus] [Spoken, judge] The defendant is the sole and lawful owner of both. Visitation denied. The plaintiffs will pay all court costs. [Spoken, the man, shouting, overjoyed] Yes! Finally something goes my way! [Spoken, judge, deadpan] Don't get used to it. [Final Chorus, voice only, no instruments] Order, order, order in the court Who gets the dick on the weekend? Let the judge sort Two dicks, one man, and I won the fight Order, order, order, and goodnight [Outro, short, gavel hit, guitar tremolo fading] [Spoken, bailiff] Court is adjourned. [Spoken, the man, quietly, smiling] I won. [Spoken, judge] Noted.

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