Left With a Nine, Woke Up With a Four

[Intro – Fast Banjo Roll, Fiddle Run, Driving Acoustic Guitar] Well, I walked in sharp, had my Sunday best A little hair tonic, a shirt pressed fresh The band was cooking, the drinks were cold I was feeling ten feet tall and bold! [Verse 1] I spotted her sitting at the end of the bar Long dark hair and a smile like a star She laughed at my jokes, said she liked my boots I thought, “Son, tonight, you are looking real smooth!” We two-stepped twice, then we danced some more She said, “Take me home,” as we headed for the door I tipped my hat, feeling lucky and fine I had me a beauty, and the night was mine! [Pre-Chorus – Fiddle Builds, Banjo Rolls Faster] The clock struck two, I was feeling like a king Didn't know a thing about the trouble morning brings I strutted to the truck with a confident roar Never dreamed what I'd be waking up for! [Chorus – Full Bluegrass Band, Rowdy Harmonies] I left with a nine, woke up with a four Don't remember her name, don't know where I am no more At two in the morning, she was all that I could see At six in the morning, Lord, what happened to me? I left with a nine, woke up with a four That's one bad deal I can't ignore The sun came up, and my jaw hit the floor I left with a nine, woke up with a four! [Verse 2 – Banjo and Acoustic Guitar, Quick Comic Timing] I opened one eye, saw a stranger's room Curtains were crooked, and the place smelled like perfume She said, “Good morning, honey, did you sleep okay?” I said, “I think I need to leave right away!” I searched for my boots, found one by the chair My other one was hiding somewhere over there She handed me coffee and a piece of toast I smiled like a man who had seen a ghost! [Pre-Chorus – Fiddle Replies to Each Line] I looked at the mirror, then looked at the bed A thousand bad decisions were racing through my head I grabbed my hat and headed for the door And promised myself I'd be smarter than before! [Chorus – Full Band, Strong Vocal Harmonies] I left with a nine, woke up with a four Don't remember her name, don't know where I am no more At two in the morning, she was all that I could see At six in the morning, Lord, what happened to me? I left with a nine, woke up with a four That's one bad deal I can't ignore The sun came up, and my jaw hit the floor I left with a nine, woke up with a four! [Instrumental Break – 16 Bars] [Fast banjo solo with rolling bluegrass runs Fiddle answers with a high, playful melody Mandolin chop on the backbeat Upright bass driving hard Dobro slides into a rapid fiddle turnaround] [Verse 3 – Storytelling Vocal, Band Drops Back] I walked into the diner, tried to act composed The waitress asked me why my shirt was buttoned wrong I ordered some eggs, kept my head down low When my buddy walked in, he said, “Boy, I gotta know!” I told him the story, left out a few parts He laughed so hard he nearly fell apart He said, “You old fool, you've been bragging all week!” I said, “Keep your voice down, I'm too tired to speak!” [Bridge – Half-Time, Spoken Country Comedy] Now, I ain't saying she's a bad-looking girl And I ain't saying she's the worst in the world But the lighting at that bar deserves a prize For keeping a fellow from seeing with his eyes! My buddy said, “Next time, just sleep at home.” I said, “Next time, I'm taking a flashlight along!” [Final Chorus – Fastest Energy, Full Harmonies] I left with a nine, woke up with a four Now I'm checking the lighting before I hit the floor At two in the morning, I believe what I see At six in the morning, it's a different story! I left with a nine, woke up with a four I ain't making that mistake no more I'll dance all night, but before I explore I'll check the morning forecast and the bedroom decor! I left with a nine! Woke up with a four! Lord, have mercy, I'm not doing that no more! [Outro – Banjo and Fiddle, Spoken Punchline] My buddy asked, “You going back tonight?” I said, “Sure... but I'm bringing better lighting!” [Fast fiddle lick, banjo flourish, sharp band stop]