Finding Who I Am

[Intro] (Soft keys, low vinyl crackle) Yeah… (yeah, yeah…) Sometimes you gotta be real with yourself (real talk…) [Verse 1] Laying in this bed, staring at the ceiling fan Thinking ‘bout the way we was, how it all began (uh huh…) Used to talk all night ‘bout forever and a fam Now we barely even text, I don’t know who I am (damn…) You been feeling distant, I been in my head You been wanting presence, I been chasing bread (chasing…) You say that you love me but you don’t feel seen I’m still tryna figure what that really mean (what it mean…) [Pre-Chorus] I ain’t saying I don’t love you, girl, you know I do (you know I do…) But I been losing me, tryna hold on to you (holding on…) And before I drag us both through this misery (yeah…) I gotta step back, figure out who I’m meant to be (meant to be…) [Chorus] I just need some time to find where I’m supposed to be (supposed to be…) Got a lot of love, but I’m lost inside of me (inside of me…) This ain’t ‘cause you wrong, it’s the space I’m in (the space I’m in…) If I stay like this, we both gon’ lose in the end (we both gon’ lose…) So if I walk away, it’s not that I don’t care (I still care…) I just gotta learn to love the man that’s in the mirror there (in the mirror…) And maybe down the line, if it’s you and me (you and me…) We’ll be ready for the love we always said we’d be (yeah, one day…) [Verse 2] You been dropping hints, saying we don’t talk enough (we don’t talk…) I been brushing off your pain, acting like I’m tough (too tough…) All these little fights turning bigger every time I can hear the heartbreak hidden in your lines (hear it…) Girl, you need a man who can show up every day (not halfway…) Not somebody halfway here, halfway away (halfway gone…) I’m still healing from my past, got these open scars (yeah…) And you deserve more than broken pieces of my heart (you deserve more…) [Pre-Chorus] I ain’t saying I don’t love you, girl, you know I do (you know I do…) But I can’t keep pretending everything is cool (it ain’t cool…) If I stay out of fear you’ll just end up resentful (you will…) So I’m lettin’ go, though my heart’s still gentle (so gentle…) [Chorus] I just need some time to find where I’m supposed to be (supposed to be…) Got a lot of love, but I’m lost inside of me (lost in me…) This ain’t ‘cause you wrong, it’s the space I’m in (space I’m in…) If I stay like this, we both gon’ lose in the end (we both gon’ lose…) So if I walk away, it’s not that I don’t care (no, no…) I just gotta learn to love the man that’s in the mirror there (in the mirror…) And maybe down the line, if it’s you and me (you and me…) We’ll be ready for the love we always said we’d be (ready for love…) [Bridge] Late nights, I replay every word you said (every word…) All the tears on your pillow laying in our bed (in our bed…) If I hold you now, knowing I ain’t right within (ain’t right…) That’s a deeper kind of sin than just letting it end (let it go…) I pray you find a peace that I ain’t give you yet (yeah…) Someone who can meet you with no regrets (no regrets…) And if that ain’t me, I’ll still wish you the best (still do…) ‘Cause real love sometimes means you take a step back and rest (take a step back…) [Breakdown] (Soft keys, filtered drums, distant adlibs) I gotta choose me… (gotta choose me…) Even though I lose you… (lose you…) [Chorus – Final] I just need some time to find where I’m supposed to be (supposed to be…) Got a lot of love, but I’m lost inside of me (lost inside…) This ain’t ‘cause you wrong, it’s the place I’m in (place I’m in…) If I stay like this, we both gon’ lose in the end (we both gon’ lose…) So if I walk away, it’s not that I don’t care (no, no…) I just gotta stand alone, face my own fear (face my fear…) And maybe down the line, if it’s you and me (you and me…) We’ll be better than the dream we used to try to be (better than the dream…) [Outro] (Rhodes and pads fading) This where I gotta be… (where I gotta be…) Hoping one day you’ll understand (one day…)