I knew your heart was breaking, when I said the things I said. Like every word was sharpened, by a voice inside my head. I told myself I meant them, but my heart knew it wasn’t true. I pushed you from the doorway, while I was reaching back for you. I don’t know where my heart went. Or why I put on a disguise. I saw the damage I had done, through someone else’s eyes. That wasn’t me when I broke your heart. That wasn’t me tearing us apart. I pushed you away, but I wanted you near. Now I’m afraid that I lost you. If there’s a part of you that still believes, the girl you loved is somewhere underneath. Look past the damage, look through the tears, that wasn’t me, I’m still here. I took away your vision. I shattered every dream. But you couldn’t see inside me, you couldn’t hear me scream. I tried to make you hate me. I tried to make you leave. But every sharp word I said to you, was breaking something deep in me. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know if I can. I saw the damage I had done, and felt it fracture who I am. That wasn’t me when I broke your heart. That wasn’t me tearing us apart. I pushed you away, but I wanted you near, now I’m afraid that I lost you. If there’s a part of you that still believes, the girl you loved is somewhere underneath. Look past the damage, look through the tears, because that wasn’t me, I’m still here. Maybe you’ve found a softer place. Maybe she knows how to make you smile. Maybe I lost the right to ask, for one more minute of your while. But if you ever loved the girl, who used to meet you in the light. Please believe she fought to reach you, from somewhere deep inside. That wasn’t me when I broke your heart. That wasn’t me tearing us apart. I pushed you away, but I wanted you near, now I’m afraid that I lost you. If there’s a part of you that still believes, the girl you loved is somewhere underneath. Look past the damage, look through the tears, because that wasn’t me, I’m still here. I don’t know if I can make this right. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be. I’m still the girl beneath the wreckage, trying to fight my way back to me. What have I done? Please, please help me.
