"Hey... I spent some time on a farm, too." "Tryin' to learn somethin' about filth." [Verse 1] I got a job as a farmhand, way off the beaten path, With a pitchfork and a bucket and the sun on my back. Said, “Sir, I’m here to wallow, I wanna smell like rot and dung.” He said, “Fine, Zebra, you can muck my stalls— But don’t you dare touch my daughters, son.” [Chorus 1] Muckin' on the farm, shit in my soul, Shovelin’ dreams out of a manure hole. Flies on my back, the stink in my nose, That’s how a real scuzzpunk grows. Just me and the cows and the sun-baked silt, Slathered in the simple, earthy filth. [Verse 2] Now Tansy came smilin’ through the stable door, Boots in the straw and not much more. She said, “Zebra, you ain't lookin' like no farmboy.” I said, “Ma'am, I ain’t here for that—I’m in your daddy's employ.” Then later I was milkin' that goat with 'lectric eyes, Her milk not creamy as Dellmae's thighs. Dellmae , "Hawss, you're much too clean, let's roll in the slop." I said, "Miss, I'm busy with the muck—workin' for yer pop!" [Chorus 2] Muckin' on the farm, shit in my soul, Shovelin’ dreams out of a manure hole. Flies on my back, the stink in my nose, Ain’t got no time for no farm-girl shows. These gals are trouble, I ain't here for thrills— Head-down focused, honest and wholesome filth. [Bridge] Then the old man sat me down by the rickety tool shed, Lit his pipe and calmly said, “Boy, you done all right, and I hope you stay. Not like that hyena slut and that owl what deflowered Dellmae.” My heart near cracked, my hide broke out in cold sweat— I been playin' checkers in a world o' scuzzpunk chess! [Chorus 3] Muckin' on the farm, shit in my soul, But there’s a deeper dirt to make me whole. If they rolled in the hay, then I’ll fuckin' roll too, With Dellmae, Tansy, and the devil’s brew. If that’s scuzzpunk truth, and that's scuzzpunk law— Gimme a go at that menage a trois! [Verse 3] That night in the hay-loft, 'tween Heaven and Hell, In just my stripes between Tansy and Dell... mae. I was awkward, sure, a goofy rapscallion. In that moment, I was their wild braying stallion! A duet of moans, blissful double climax, As the barn doors burst, double-barreled blast! [Final Chorus] Fucked right off the farm, shit in my soul, Laughin’ naked past the buckshot holes. Over the fence, through the Sturm and drang, Tansy screamin’, “God DAMN, Mustang!” I just whooped and hollered, my heart fulfilled— My first taste of true depraved scuzzpunk filth! "Heh. I think I'm gettin' the hang of this stuff! Heh heh."
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