Recoil

I feel it snap before I think The instinct fires, the distance grows Hands pull back, jaw locks shut I’m already gone before it shows Every nerve remembers fast Every lesson carved in bone I don’t choose to close the door My body does it on its own I don’t stop to ask if I’m safe I just move I recoil — not from you From the shape of what it takes to stay I recoil — every truth Feels like something I can’t face No warning sound, no second thought Just survival in control I don’t run — I snap back hard I recoil I’ve learned the signs, I’ve learned the cost The quiet right before it breaks Every time the air gets soft My muscles tense, my balance shakes I don’t need the threat to show I don’t need the past replayed The moment closeness finds my skin The signal hits — retreat engaged I don’t wait to feel the damage I just move I recoil — not from you From the shape of what it takes to stay I recoil — every truth Feels like something I can’t face No warning sound, no second thought Just survival in control I don’t run — I snap back hard I recoil This isn’t fear — it’s memory This isn’t choice — it’s trained in me I recoil — not from you From the weight I haven’t named I recoil — every step Feels like standing in a flame I don’t pause, I don’t decide I just guard what I can hold I don’t flee — I pull back fast I recoil I recoil — not from you From the weight I haven’t named I recoil — every step Feels like standing in a flame I don’t pause, I don’t decide I just guard what I can hold I don’t flee — I pull back fast I recoil