Three Rings & No Fucking Brakes

[INTRO — SPOKEN] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the greatest show on Earth. [BEAT] Unfortunately, we're the ones paying for it. [CHOIR] OH, SHIT! [ORCHESTRA HIT] [VERSE 1 — RAPID FIRE] Wake up! Phone buzz! Here we fucking go! Truth Social meltdown, new post, new show! Caps lock! Hot take! AI slop! BREAKING! Who's running the country? [CHOIR] NOBODY KNOWS! [LEAD] There's a tariff! There's a threat! There's a feud! There's a tweet! There's a guy on television who forgot what he said three minutes ago and somehow that's the beat! There's a press conference, there's a hallway, there's a microphone, there's a lie— There's a fact-check trying desperately not to fucking die! [CHOIR] WELCOME TO AMERICA! [PRE-CHORUS — BUILD] It's a three-ring circus! Ring one: chaos! Ring two: bullshit! Ring three: watch this! [LEAD] And while the whole damn tent is burning to the ground— [CHOIR] THEY'RE SELLING TICKETS! [CHORUS — HUGE] WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! WE'VE GONE OFF THE RAILS! THE SHIP'S ON FIRE, THE CAPTAIN'S ONLINE, AND SOMEBODY'S POSTING IN ALL CAPS AGAIN! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! WHO PUT THIS ON THE AIR?! THE WORLD IS WATCHING LIKE— [FOREIGN-ACCENTED ENSEMBLE] “WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING OVER THERE?” [ALL] WE DON'T KNOW! [VERSE 2 — FASTER] Golf clubs! Golf carts! Another fucking weekend! Country's got problems, but the tee time's sacred! Markets go sideways, everybody panic— [CHOIR] SHHH! [LEAD] He's golfing! [CHOIR] GOLFING! [LEAD] People need answers— [CHOIR] HE'S GOLFING! [LEAD] World needs leadership— [CHOIR] HE'S GOLFING! [LEAD] Maybe he'll fix it Monday— [CHOIR] HE'S GOLFING! [LEAD] Maybe Tuesday— [CHOIR] STILL GOLFING! [LEAD] Maybe— [CHOIR] OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! [VERSE 3 — RAPID-FIRE ENSEMBLE] Truth! Lies! Memes! Fights! AI pictures in the middle of the night! “Historic!” “Greatest!” “Never seen before!” Then tomorrow comes along and there's another one! Post it! Delete it! Deny it! Repeat! Everybody's got a microphone and nobody's got a seat! Foreign leaders watching closely, trying not to blink— [FOREIGN CHOIR] IS THIS REALLY WHAT YOU THINK?! [AMERICAN CHOIR] APPARENTLY! [BRIDGE — SUDDENLY QUIET] We used to ask: “Who has a plan?” Now we ask: “Who has the login?” [BEAT] [LEAD] Who checked the facts? [CHOIR] Nobody! [LEAD] Who read the bill? [CHOIR] Nobody! [LEAD] Who has the wheel? [CHOIR] OH, GOD! [LEAD] Who said— [CHOIR] DON'T ASK! [FINAL BUILD] Three rings! [CHOIR] THREE RINGS! [LEAD] One circus! [CHOIR] ONE CIRCUS! [LEAD] No brakes! [CHOIR] NO BRAKES! [LEAD] No shame! [CHOIR] NO SHAME! [LEAD] Whole world watching— [CHOIR] WHAT A FUCKING GAME! [FINAL CHORUS — MASSIVE] WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! WE'VE GONE OFF THE RAILS! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE AND THE BAND'S PLAYING LOUD! THE WORLD'S LOOKING OVER LIKE— [FOREIGN CHOIR] “ARE YOU PEOPLE PROUD?!” [AMERICAN CHOIR] HELL NO! [LEAD] We're broke! [CHOIR] WE'RE TIRED! [LEAD] We're pissed! [CHOIR] WE'RE WIRED! [LEAD] And somehow the circus keeps rolling along! [ALL] WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! [LEAD] Three rings! [CHOIR] THREE RINGS! [LEAD] One clown car! [CHOIR] TOO MANY CLOWNS! [LEAD] One country! [CHOIR] STILL STANDING! [LEAD] One world asking— [EVERYONE] WHAT THE FUCK WERE Y'ALL THINKING?! [FINAL HIT] [CHOIR — DEADPAN] Welcome to America. [BEAT] [ONE VOICE] Please keep your hands inside the ride.