[Intro] From the land of green and mist so proud They trained a spud to blend in the crowd With a trench coat Shades And a hat With a mission to do A secret agent potato Who knew? [Instrumental Intro: Theme] [Verse] From the green hills of Ireland A spud was born A potato with purpose A spy well-worn In his trench coat of dirt He boarded a plane With a passport of roots And a head full of grain [Verse 2] Spy Spud Sneaky and slick Rolling through UK He's quick Quick Quick Stealing secrets crumb by crumb For the biscuit wars Here he comes! [Instrumental Break] [Chorus] He's Agent Spud With a plan so sly To nab that biscuit recipe Kiss it goodbye Crunch it Munch it They’ll never see An Irish spy placing starch in their tea [Post-Chorus] Secret agent Spud On a run Stealing cookies for Ireland’s fun Tea and biscuits The prize is sweet He’s the spy the Brits can’t beat [Intermission] [Verse 3] In a London café He ordered his brew The waitress said "Irish? I see right through you" But Spud just grinned His accent askew "I'm local Leave me a phone number lass And I'll prove it to you" [Verse 4] He tiptoed through London All cloak in his hat Dodged tea-sipping grannies Slipped past a cat In a factory of crumbs He found the prize A golden recipe for digestive surprise [Chorus] He's Agent Spud With a plan so sly To nab that biscuit recipe Kiss it goodbye Crunch it Munch it They’ll never see An Irish spy placing starch in their tea [Post-Chorus] Secret agent Spud On a run Stealing cookies for Ireland’s fun Tea and biscuits The prize is sweet He’s the spy the Brits can’t beat [Intermission] [Verse 5] Spud’s on a mission He’s stealing the dough A biscuit so perfect The world doesn’t know Crunchy or crumbly It’s all in the plan Agent Spud The starchiest man [Bridge] Dodging lasers In a teacup crawl A potato’s stealth beats them all He’s slick He’s sly He’s got potato pride No one suspects a root crop tonight [Verse 6] But tea kettles screamed as alarms did too A guard with a mustache yelled "Who are you?" He flipped his hat Out came a drone It lifted him high To places unknown He shot up the chimney with a grappling spoon Jetpack made of burlap whistled a daring tune Guards in pajamas Tea spilled on the floor He left them shouting "Come back 'ere you clot!" [Outro] One nibble of perfection Worth any price Dodging guards Lasers And a royal hound He escaped with the recipe made Ireland proud
