[Intro] (clean jangly guitar into low rumble) [Verse 1] [Singer 1, deadpan] Bought it yesterday, perfect cream shag Dreamed of barefoot heaven, price tag still attached [Singer 2] Little paws patter in, tail wagging like mad One squat later... boom, abstract art in plaid [Chorus] [both blast in, guitars roar, harmonic squeal] Poopocalypse Rug! You little shit machine Cutest terrorist I've ever seen I'm screaming at the stain but hugging your face How dare you be this cute in disgrace! [Verse 2] [Singer 2 leads, Singer 1 echoes] Steam cleaner on standby, resolve in my veins But those big wet eyes hit like Novocain (Singer 1: "Stop it!") One whimper and I'm cooing, traitor to my rug You're weaponized adorable, you smug little thug [Chorus] [both, bigger harmonies] Poopocalypse Rug! You little shit machine Cutest terrorist I've ever seen I'm screaming at the stain but hugging your face How dare you be this cute in disgrace! [Bridge] (tempo drops heavy: slow sludgy riff, dramatic pause) Look what you did... look what you did... (both whisper-growl: "Bad dog... good dog... BAD DOG!") (instrumental: 12s squealing harmonics over crushing groove) [Chorus] [tempo slams back with huge drum fill, dual yells] Poopocalypse Rug! You little shit machine Cutest terrorist I've ever seen I'll forgive you this time, but the rug never will Next time outside, or it's the windowsill! [Outro] (guitar solo with squeals, both ad-lib) Poopocalypse! Poopocalypse! (harmonies: "Who's a good criminal? You are!") [fade into laughter and feedback]
