BACON IN MY MOUTH!!! [Fat chunky juicy bass. Cathedral organ creeps in. Lula starts with her mouth full.] [Lula — mouth full] Lula ain’t screaming on the beat, her mouth too full…. My ass fat Ain’t missing no meals The big BC know where to put that bacon at….. Mmmm ohhhh ahhh [Everything cuts. One cathedral bell.] [Lula — sudden scream] IN MY FUCKING MOUTH!!!!! [Choir crashes in with huge organ] [Choir] MORE BACON MORE BACON GIVE HER THE WHOLE DAMN PIG!!! [Lula — greasy cries] I’m sorry for I can only take so much… [Choir — increasingly dramatic] BRING THE GREASE!!!!!!! [Huge grease splash. Lula gasps.] [Lula] OH— Oh my god… Why is it WARM?! [Choir — heavenly] BLESSED BE THE GREASE [Lula] Who blessed this shit?! [BC — deep solemn spoken voice] I did. [Lula] …oh. [Choir erupts] BACON!!! BACON!!! BACON!!! [Lula — scream rap] Grease on my titties Crumbs in my hair Four eyes open BITCH I’M FULLY AWARE Big fairy appetite Big fairy plate If BC cooking bacon I’m arriving late But I’m ARRIVING!!! [Operatic soprano soars behind heavy guitars] [Lula — increasingly operatic] Oooooohhhhhh Crispy little blessing Come unto meeeee Salt on my lips Grease on my wings Why does this bacon Make me wanna SIIIIING?! [Choir] SING, FAIRY, SING!!! [Lula — beautiful soprano] BACON IN MY MOOOOOOOUTH— [Sudden guttural scream] GET IN THERE!!!!! [Violent cathedral breakdown. Pipe organ follows the guitar chugs.] [Lula] CHOMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! [Choir] SWALLOW!!! [Lula] WAIT DAMN!!! [Choir] SWALLOW!!! [Lula] LET ME CHEW!!! [Choir] MORE BACON!!! [Lula — panicking] WHY Y’ALL RUSHING ME?! [BC — calmly] Take your time. [Lula — soft] Thank you, baby. [One second of peaceful harp.] [Choir — deafening] BRING THE GREASE!!!!! [Lula] NOT AGAIN!!!!! [Grease splash. Lula lets out an absurd operatic shriek.] AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! [Massive bass drop] BACON IN MY MOUTH GREASE RUNNING SOUTH I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS SONG’S ABOUT BACON IN MY MOUTH BACON IN MY TEETH BACON ON THE ALTAR BACON UNDERNEATH [Choir] UNDERNEATH WHAT?! [Lula] DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!!! [Fairy bells spiral upward. Orchestra suddenly becomes gorgeous and emotional.] [Lula — trembling operatic voice] Forgive me… For I have sinned… I said I was full… [Choir gasps] But then… I smelled another piece. [Choir — whispering] No… [Lula] Yes. [Choir] Nooooo… [Lula — evil little laugh] Hehehe… YES. [Crunch] [Choir erupts into heavenly harmony] SHE HAS FALLEN!!! SHE HAS FALLEN!!! THE FAIRY HAS FALLEN!!! [Lula] BITCH I SAT DOWN!!! [Huge screamo drums] I GOT GREASE I GOT BACON I GOT BC IN THE BACK WAITING Got my wings out Four eyes glazed Whole damn church ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!!! [Choir] MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE! [Lula] Y’all some greedy bitches… [Choir] MORE! [Lula] Fine. [Final movement. Full orchestra, pipe organ, distorted guitars, bells, double kicks and enormous fairy choir.] [Lula — grand soprano] MY PLATE OVERFLOWETH! [Choir] OVERFLOWETH! [Lula] MY BACON GLOWETH! [Choir] GLOWETH! [Lula] MY CORSET KNOWETH! [Choir] KNOWETH! [Lula] THAT MY FAT ASS— [Music abruptly stops.] [Lula — spoken] …actually, never mind. [BC laughs quietly.] [Choir — whispering] Say it… [Lula] No. [Choir] SAY IT… [Lula] Y’all messy. [Choir — screaming] SAY IT!!!!! [Lula — demonic scream] MY FAT ASS STILL WANT MOOOOOOOOORE!!!!! [Cathedral explodes into the final breakdown.] [Choir] BACON IN HER MOUTH! BACON IN HER MOUTH! BACON IN HER MOUTH! [Lula] PUT THAT BACON IN MY— [Choir] MOUTH!!! [Lula] PUT THAT GREASE UPON MY— [Choir] CROWN!!! [Lula] IF YOU GOT ANOTHER PLATE— BRING! IT! NOW!!!!! [Choir and Lula — operatic scream] MORE BACOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!! [Huge final organ chord. Cathedral bells ring. Silence.] [Single crunch.] [Lula — mouth full, satisfied] Mmmm… Now Lula screaming on da beat. [Lula — feral scream] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! [Snooze meows. End.]
