[Spoken Intro – Female, thick Southern accent, irritated, sarcastic] I’ve had it with these goddamn horndogs, Comin’ in here like a pack of wild rabbits! Jesus Christ, boys… Put that shit away! [Verse 1 – Driving Southern guitar riff, sassy vocal] He walks in bowlegged like he just got off a bull, Struts right up beside me, thinks he’s lookin’ cool. I took one look and said, “They make a cream for that!” “Now keep the fuck away from me, and put that thing back!” [Verse 2 – Sarcastic, increasingly irritated] His buddy walks in, unaware of his friend’s doom, I point and yell, “Don’t, motherfucker! Stay across the room!” He says, “But I wasn’t!” I say, “Yeah, and I’m the Queen of England!” “Sit your asses down, you two, I know just what you’re thinkin’!” [Chorus – Explosive female Southern rock, full band] Men! Goddamn men! Here we fuckin’ go again! Thinkin’ with the little head instead of the one God gave ‘em! Keep your dick in your pants and your hands to yourself, If you’re that fuckin’ desperate, go home and fuck yourself! Men! Jesus Christ, men! Ain’t a goddamn brain cell between ten of them! [Verse 3 – Sharp, sarcastic delivery] One gets off his stool, thinks he’s found my secret way, I said, “Hold on, cowboy! Park your ass, that’s where it stays!” He says, “But why?” I said, “You need to learn respect!” “And maybe learn to conjugate before you try to connect!” [Verse 4 – Spoken-sung, comedic buildup] These fuckers need to blow off some goddamn steam, I turn around and ask ‘em, “Y’all remember that movie scene?” “Something About Mary? Anybody? What the fuck?” Not a single bastard answers. Jesus, just my luck! [Spoken Breakdown – Instruments stop, dead silence] Go home! Watch the goddamn movie! Take care of your own business before you come out! [Shouted – Full band crashes back in] So you ain’t tryin’ to fuck every bar stool in the goddamn house! [Final Chorus – Louder, nastier, gritty female vocals] Men! Goddamn men! Here we fuckin’ go again! Thinkin’ with the little head instead of the one God gave ‘em! Keep your dick in your pants and your hands to yourself, If you’re that fuckin’ desperate, go home and fuck yourself! Men! Jesus Christ, men! Ain’t a goddamn brain cell between ten of them! [Outro – Guitar riff stops abruptly] [Spoken – Deadpan Southern drawl] And somebody get that first bastard some cream. [Pause] Jesus Christ… And they wonder why I’m still single! [Final guitar sting]
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