You said you were fine, I believed what you showed me Laughing in the daylight, dying where it’s lonely I thought it was a phase, just stress from the week Didn’t know the silence was louder than you’d speak You’d sit in your room with the door halfway closed Music too loud, but your eyes decomposed I’d knock and you’d say “I’m good, don’t worry” Now that word echoes back and it hits in a hurry I keep replaying every small sign Trying to find the moment I missed the line If I had said it sooner If I had stayed that night If I had looked a little closer Would you still be alive? I keep talking to shadows Like they answer me back If love was really enough Why couldn’t I stop that? You say you would’ve saved me But you never saw the weight Every smile I handed you Was carefully curated I didn’t want to scare you Didn’t want to be the mess So I carried all the chaos Underneath my chest You thought that I was distant I was drowning in plain sight You asked me if I’m good I said “yeah” to keep it light It wasn’t that you failed me Or didn’t even try I just got really good at Saying “I’m fine” We were both in the same room Fighting different wars You were trying to break in I was locking doors If I had said it sooner If I had told the truth If I had let you see me Without the armor I use Maybe we’d be talking Instead of talking to air Sometimes the loudest pain Is the one we never share I’m not angry at you And you shouldn’t be at me We were both just human Trying not to bleed
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