Busy Hands

-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=- My phone lights up like it knows my thoughts Another night, another almost I rehearse lines I’ll never say Delete the app, then open it again I want warm breath, a human sound But I freeze when someone’s around I’m brave in theory, bold in bed In my head, in my head, in my head -=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=- I romanticize strangers I’ll never meet Trip over silence, fall back on me I laugh it off like it’s a joke But the joke’s getting old, yeah, the joke’s getting old -=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=- I crave a body, but I hide my face So I settle for a safer place Lonely girl with busy hands Doing what she can, doing what she can I want connection, sparks, collision But anxiety’s got better precision So I close the door, dim the light Fix it myself again tonight -=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=- Friends say “girl, just put yourself out” Like I didn’t think of that somehow They make it sound so clean and kind But my chest locks up every time I don’t want games, I don’t want pain I just want someone without the strain So I negotiate with the dark Lower expectations, raise my heart rate a mark -=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=- I’m not broken, I’m just discreet I keep my chaos nice and neat If wanting touch is a human flaw Then congrats to me, I’ve got it all -=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=- I crave a body, but I hide my face So I settle for a safer place Lonely girl with busy hands Doing what she can, doing what she can I want connection, sparks, collision But fear shows up with perfect timing So I close the door, dim the light Fix it myself again tonight -=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=- At least I know what I like At least nobody disappoints No awkward talks, no morning guilt Just me and the mess I built -=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=- One day I’ll be brave, maybe soon Step outside this padded room Till then I cope the way I can With my thoughts, my touch, my hands It’s funny how desire survives Even in quiet, introverted lives I smile at the ceiling, half amused Half alone, half self-used -=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=- I'll fix it myself again tonight -=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-V-=(|)=-