Krusty Drop

Squidward went home... ...Patrick didn't. Eleven fifty-nine at the Krusty Krab, Clocked out clean with a greasy little bag, Tie still straight but my eyes look wrong, Been flipping those patties for way too long. Mr. Krabs said, "Boy, better lock that door," I said, "Aye-aye, Captain" then I mopped the floor. Squidward left muttering, "I hate this place," Didn't see the little fucking grin on my face. Pineapple dark but I'm nowhere near home, Patrick hit the shell phone— *"Bro... you alone?"* Two minutes later he's outside with a cart, No shoes, no shirt— *"You ready to start?"* Start what? **"Don't worry about it."** Oh, fuck. Bubbles in the alley... Something in the fog... Jellyfish buzzing like a busted neon box. Gary at the decks with his eyes half shut— *"Meow."* **GARY, TURN THAT FUCKER UP.** **KRUSTY DROP! KRUSTY DROP!** Whole damn Bottom when the bassline drops! **KRUSTY DROP! KRUSTY DROP!** Doors locked tight but we ain't gonna stop! **KRUSTY DROP! KRUSTY DROP!** Squidward screaming— *"TURN THAT SHIT OFF!"* Three... Two... One... *(Gary: "meow.")* One in the morning and the pineapple's packed, Mrs. Puff dancing with her shoes in her hand, Larry doing push-ups underneath the stairs, Patrick's wearing somebody else's underwear. *"They're comfy."* Plankton slipped in through a crack in the wall, Tiny motherfucker thinks he's ten feet tall. Standing on a speaker with a drink in his hand *"TONIGHT, THE FORMULA IS PART OF MY PLAN!"* Nah. Picked him up gently, put him back outside. *"YOU'LL REGRET THIS!"* Yeah, yeah. **Enjoy the ride.** Mr. Krabs appeared when he smelled loose change, Started charging everybody just to use the bathroom. Five bucks entry. Ten bucks late. Twenty if you wanna know **what happened to Squidward's clarinet.** Nobody ask. Floor getting sticky... Walls starting to shake... Somebody put a jellyfish inside the birthday cake. Gary staring at me— I know that fucking look. *"Meow."* **OH NO.** **KRUSTY DROP! KRUSTY DROP!** Whole damn Bottom when the bassline drops! **KRUSTY DROP! KRUSTY DROP!** Patrick on the table yelling— *"NEVER GONNA STOP!"* **KRUSTY DROP! KRUSTY DROP!** Squidward at the window with the fucking cops! Three... Two... One... *(Gary: "meow.")* "Residents report excessive noise..." *"One stolen shopping cart..."* **"Borrowed."** *"Six missing Krabby Patties..."* **"I want a lawyer."** Squidward stood outside in his dressing gown... Clarinet in one hand. Vein in his forehead. Looked me dead in the eye and said— *"SpongeBob..."* Yeah? *"I am going to fucking kill you."* **Wanna come in?** *"Is there still pizza?"* **THERE HE IS!** Four in the morning, Bikini Bottom went feral, Somebody put a traffic cone on top of the coral. Krabs counting money. Plankton came back. Mrs. Puff asleep in a takeaway sack. Larry lost a flip-flop. Patrick found three. Nobody knows where the fuck Gary's been. Then the lights came on— Everybody froze. Sun coming up... Oh shit. Five fifty-nine and my shift starts at six. Krusty Krab uniform covered in sick. Squidward looked dead. Patrick looked worse. Mr. Krabs shouted— **"GET YOUR ASS TO WORK!"** So I grabbed my spatula, Walked through the door... Clocked straight back in like the night before. Customer number one said: *"Morning, SpongeBob!"* "I smiled real wide". **"I'm ready."** **I'm always fucking ready.** **KRUSTY DROP! KRUSTY DROP!** Whole damn Bottom when the bassline drops! **KRUSTY DROP! KRUSTY DROP!** From the pineapple straight to the Krusty Krab! **KRUSTY DROP! KRUSTY DROP!** If you hear that snail then you know what's up! **OH FUCK** **OH FUCK**