[Centre for Inflammatory Eye Disease – waiting area] [WOMAN ONE – young female mezzo] You here for you-vee-EYE-tis? [WOMAN TWO – young female soprano] How did you know? [WOMAN ONE] You've got the drops, The clinic letter, And that slightly haunted glow. [WOMAN TWO] Prednisolone? [WOMAN ONE] Forty milligrams. [WOMAN TWO] I'm on thirty. [WOMAN ONE] Beginner. [WOMAN TWO] I've been taking it for months! [WOMAN ONE] Exactly. [WOMAN TWO] My face has become rounder. [WOMAN ONE] Mine has its own postcode. [DUET] Prednisolone! Prednisolone! The little white tablets That won't leave us alone! They calm you-vee-EYE-tis, They help us to see— Then introduce our bodies To a new personality! [WOMAN TWO] I'm hungry all the time. [WOMAN ONE] I ate breakfast twice. [WOMAN TWO] I couldn't sleep last night. [WOMAN ONE] I reorganised my kitchen At three in the morning. [WOMAN TWO] Why? [WOMAN ONE] It seemed important. [DUET] Can't sleep! Must eat! Hot flush! Cold feet! Wide awake at midnight With a biscuit and a phone— Oh, thank you, Prednisolone! [WOMAN TWO] I'm moody. [WOMAN ONE] I'm not. [WOMAN TWO] You just shouted at the coffee machine. [WOMAN ONE] It knew what it did. [WOMAN TWO] My jeans don't fit. [WOMAN ONE] Elasticated waist. [WOMAN TWO] Is that medical advice? [WOMAN ONE] Clinical experience. [DUET] Prednisolone! Prednisolone! Our appetite's enormous And our cheekbones have gone! The scales are getting personal, Our tempers come and go— [WOMAN TWO] And everybody tells you— [DUET] "Don't stop it suddenly!" [WOMAN ONE] We KNOW! [Music softens] [WOMAN TWO] Do you ever get scared? [WOMAN ONE] Yes. [WOMAN TWO] About your sight? [WOMAN ONE] Yes. [WOMAN TWO] Me too. [WOMAN ONE] That's the bit Nobody jokes about. [WOMAN TWO] I hate the tablets. [WOMAN ONE] So do I. [WOMAN TWO] But when the blur cleared... [WOMAN ONE] I know. [WOMAN TWO] I could see my mum's face properly again. [Pause] [WOMAN ONE] That's why we take them. [Warm strings enter] [DUET] For you-vee-EYE-tis Has taken enough, And sometimes the medicine Has to be tough. We laugh at the hunger, The moon face, the weight, The sleepless three mornings, The moods that won't wait. But somewhere beneath Every tablet we hate Is the hope that tomorrow Our sight will be safe. [Music gradually brightens] [WOMAN TWO] What dose are you hoping for today? [WOMAN ONE] Twenty. [WOMAN TWO] Ambitious. [WOMAN ONE] Dream big. [WOMAN TWO] I'm hoping for twenty-five. [WOMAN ONE] Steady. You'll make yourself emotional. [WOMAN TWO] Too late. [DUET – brighter] Just one more milligram! Then one milligram less! The world's longest taper In an NHS dress! Thirty becomes twenty, Then fifteen, then ten— [WOMAN TWO] Then you-vee-EYE-tis flares— [WOMAN ONE] And we start it again! [Both laugh] [DUET] Prednisolone! Prednisolone! We'd dearly love to tell you That we're glad when you're gone! But while you-vee-EYE-tis Still threatens what we see, We'll swallow you tomorrow... [WOMAN ONE] With breakfast. [WOMAN TWO] Twice? [WOMAN ONE] Obviously. [Both laugh] [NURSE – offstage] Next patient, please! [WOMAN ONE] That's me. [WOMAN TWO] Good luck. [WOMAN ONE] See you next month? [WOMAN TWO] Probably. [Soft final harmony] Just one more milligram... [Button ending]
