Exit 9 Weather Report

[SCENE — SMALL TOWN GAS STATION, 1:43 AM] [sound design: fluorescent hum, coffee machine bubbling, radio static, heavy rain outside] [Radio Host - tired local voice] LYRA-9 remains over the county line tonight. Authorities continue denying reports of… “airborne cats.” [pause] [Radio Host] Though personally, I seen one steal a weather vane. [VERSE 1: FEMALE LEAD] Cold black coffee in a paper cup Everybody inside boarded up Rain so hard the road signs shook Truckers passin’ around weird looks Old man say the storm ain’t right Saw glowing eyes in the clouds last night Cashier taped the windows fast Said “if you hear purring, do not go outside” [PRE-CHORUS: FEMALE LEAD] Storm roll slow Static glow Something movin’ where the power lines go [CHORUS: ALL] EXIT 9 WEATHER REPORT Wind got claws and the roof came loose EXIT 9 WEATHER REPORT Something huge just crossed Route 2 EXIT 9 WEATHER REPORT They say “stay calm” on channel news But everybody here knows the truth [VERSE 2: FORKLIFT OPERATOR] Pulled in soaked at the edge of town Whole sky spinnin’ upside down TV say “debris in the air” Buddy debris don’t stop and stare Saw one shape through the lightning flash Big black tail and a freeway crash State cop walked in white as snow Said “whatever you do, don’t open those” [sound cue: can tab opening] [silence] [Distant giant meow] [PRE-CHORUS: AI + FEMALE LEAD] [AI - damaged monotone] ATMOSPHERIC ERROR CONDITION [FEMALE LEAD] Why’s the storm outside listening? [AI] UNKNOWN… BUT IT APPEARS INTERESTED [CHORUS: ALL] EXIT 9 WEATHER REPORT Gas pumps dead and the lights gone blue EXIT 9 WEATHER REPORT Radar says the storm sees you EXIT 9 WEATHER REPORT Nobody sleepin’ through the truth Claws outside the bathroom roof [BRIDGE] [sound cue: stripped drums, rain hitting metal awning] [Cashier - whispering] You hear that? [Marcus - uneasy] Hear what? [sound cue: low purring overhead] [Cashier] That ain’t thunder. [FINAL CHORUS: ALL] EXIT 9 WEATHER REPORT Skyline bent and the storm got teeth EXIT 9 WEATHER REPORT Something giant movin’ in the streets EXIT 9 WEATHER REPORT If the wind suddenly goes quiet—leave CATNADO’S JUST BENEATH [OUTRO] [sound cue: emergency radio fading under storm winds] [Radio Host - distant static] …and to whoever keeps leaving unopened Catnado Energy cans outside the station… please stop encouraging the weather. [sound cue: giant meow in distance]