[Verse 1 — dark poetic rap] I did not leave the dark behind I folded it careful and called it mine Put it in my coat like a legal letter Told everybody I was doing better I came out living, not clean There is a difference nobody means My smile got sharper, my laugh got trained My hands learned manners, my eyes stayed stained They wanted a comeback with flowers and light I brought red petals and a permanent night They wanted proof I had made peace there I said peace don’t breathe in that kind of air Still, I walked out. Still, I stood. Still, I made ugly look almost good. Still, the room had to move around me Like truth in boots had finally found me [Hook — sung male] I didn’t get free, I got through I didn’t get new, I got true If I look strong, don’t clap too soon Some things survive by becoming the wound I didn’t get clean, I got clear I learned to laugh when the end got near If you see me smile where the dark should be That don’t mean the hurt ever left with me [Verse 2 — faster internal rhyme] Pressure made character, character armor Armor made jokes with a bad little charmer Charmer made rooms think the damage was stylish Meanwhile the real me was quiet and childish I turned every bruise into wardrobe language Every old fear into public advantage Every soft need into something sarcastic Wrapped it in leather and called it fantastic I been born twice from the same wrong minute Once as a child, once as the thing living in it Once with a cry, once with a curse Once from a mother, once from what hurts No epidural for the second arrival No clean story, no perfect survival Just me and the pain in a locked little room Both of us arguing who gets the bloom [Flow Switch — raw confession] I am not asking For rescue or pity. I am just tired Of sounding pretty. I am not empty. I am not healed. I am the door And what it concealed. [Verse 3 — final truth] So when I walk in and the air gets careful When the jokes come quick and the smile gets harmful When I say I’m fine with theatrical timing Know there is truth underneath the shining I am not the mask, but the mask has history I am not the wound, but the wound still visits me I am not the boy that the old room swallowed I am the man that the echo followed If you want the clean version, bury the rumor If you want the real one, bring darker humor Bring patience, bring silence, bring nerve, bring proof Bring room for the ugly parts telling the truth I did not defeat pain. I taught it to walk. I taught it to wait when I needed to talk. I taught it my name and it answered softly: “You made it out, but you made it with me.” [Final Hook — sung male, bigger] I didn’t get free, I got through I didn’t get new, I got true If I look strong, don’t clap too soon Some things survive by becoming the wound I didn’t get clean, I got clear I learned to laugh when the end got near If you see me smile where the dark should be That don’t mean the hurt ever left with me [Outro] I brought it out. It brought me too. That’s why I stand Like I split in two.
