Mister Gallagher and Mister Shean

There are two funny men, the best I’ve ever seen One is Mister Gallagher, the other Mister Shean, When these two cronies meet It surely is a treat, The things they say, and the things they do, and the funny way they greet. Oh! Mister Gallagher Oh! Mister Gallagher Hello what’s on your mind this morning Mister Shean Ev’rybody’s making fun Of the way our country’s run All the paper say we’ll soon live European Why, Mister Shean Why, Mister Shean On the day they took away our old canteen Cost of living went so high, that it’s cheaper now to die Positively Mister Gallagher, absolutely Mister Shean. There are two funny men, the best I’ve ever seen One is Mister Gallagher, the other Mister Shean, When these two cronies meet It surely is a treat, The things they say, and the things they do, and the funny way they greet. Oh! Mister Gallagher Oh! Mister Gallagher If you’re a friend of mine, you’ll lend me a couple of bucks I’m so broke and badly bent And I haven’t got a cent I’m so clean you’d think that I was washed with Lux Oh! Mister Shean Oh! Mister Shean Do you mean to say you haven’t got a bean On my word as I’m alive, I intended touching you for five, Oh I thank you Mister Gallagher, you are welcome Mister Shean. There are two funny men, the best I’ve ever seen One is Mister Gallagher, the other Mister Shean, When these two cronies meet It surely is a treat, The things they say, and the things they do, and the funny way they greet. Oh! Mister Gallagher Oh! Mister Gallagher Once I think I saw you save a lady’s life In a rowboat out to sea You were a hero then to me And I thought perhaps you’ve made this girl your wife Oh! Mister Shean Oh! Mister Shean As she sunk I dove down like a submarine Dragged her up upon the shore, now she’s mine forever more, Who the lady Mister Gallagher, no the rowboat Mister Shean. There are two funny men, the best I’ve ever seen One is Mister Gallagher, the other Mister Shean, When these two cronies meet It surely is a treat, The things they say, and the things they do, and the funny way they greet. Oh! Mister Gallagher Oh! Mister Gallagher What’s the name of that game they play on the links With a stick they knock the ball Where you can’t find it at all Then the caddie walks around and thinks and thinks Oh! Mister Shean Oh! Mister Shean You don’t even know a hazard from a green It’s become a popular game, and you don’t even know it’s name, Sure it’s croquette Mister Gallagher, no, lawn tennis Mister Shean