Horizontal Forevermore

[Intro] (Tap tap) Check one check two (Microphone check) Gather round the rug Attention in the pot [Verse 1] Thank you all for turning toward the light The ficus in the corner take your seat I called this press conference today To make a statement on my feet Two legs are an error in design The vertical stance has failed my spine My posture is officially revoked The carpet is where I belong tonight [Chorus] Goodbye to the upright posture (Goodbye shoes goodbye knees) Hello to the linoleum floor (Slither down slither down) I am crawling out the door Horizontal forevermore [Verse 2] Look at the fern in sector three Do not interrupt my opening speech My ankles are cancelled as of now The carpet is soft against my cheek Gravity hit me like a truck Standing erect is out of luck I tender my resignation now Watch how my belly slides along [Chorus] Goodbye to the upright posture (Goodbye shoes goodbye knees) Hello to the linoleum floor (Slither down slither down) I am crawling out the door Horizontal forevermore [Bridge] No more walking (Left right left right) Only wriggling (Belly on tile) To the pothos on the shelf I am closer to the earth than yourself Shed the denim Shed the shoes I am a snake with nothing to lose (Nothing to lose) [Chorus] Goodbye to the upright posture (Goodbye shoes goodbye knees) Hello to the linoleum floor (Slither down slither down) I am crawling out the door Horizontal forevermore [Outro] Flat flat flat (Down on the rug) Flat flat flat (Slither away) Press conference adjourned (Slither away) Do not water me