(Intro: A heavy drum fill followed by a distorted, twangy guitar riff) Verse 1 Well, Peggy Sue was lookin' like a teenage dream In a poodle skirt and a sweater tight as buttercream We parked the Chevy 'neath the willow by the old stone bridge A miles away from the lights on the foggy ridge The radio was hummin' somethin' soft and low I said, "Baby, hold on tight, 'cause it’s time to go!" Verse 2 I was huffin’ and a-puffin’ like a steam-engine train Tryin' to drive her crazy, tryin' to ease the strain I went for the gold, I went for the win But I slipped on the seat and the devil walked in I heard a sound like a dry branch snappin' in the dark And suddenly the cabin lost its romantic spark! Chorus Oh, it went CRACK like a Louisville Slugger! I screamed out loud, "You mother-lovin' trucker!" My main attraction took a wicked, crooked bend I thought my lovin' days had reached a bitter end It’s turnin' deep purple like a Concord grape I’m lookin' for the door, lookin' for an escape! Yeah, I broke my shaft, man, what a low-down drag Now my North Pole is flyin' at a half-mast flag! Verse 3 Peggy started screamin', "Johnny, what’s that noise?" I said, "The hardware’s busted, tell the neighborhood boys!" It swelled up like a balloon at the county fair I was clutchin' at the dash, gaspin' for some air The pain hit me harder than a heavyweight bout I knew right then the lights were goin' out! Bridge (Piano solo: High-octane and chaotic) Well, we burnt the rubber gettin' to the General Ward I was prayin' for mercy, cryin' out to the Lord The nurse took a look and she started to grin She said, "Son, I think you committed a structural sin!" The doctor walked in with a needle and a thread I wished I was at home in my lonely bed! Chorus Because it went CRACK like a Louisville Slugger! I screamed out loud, "You mother-lovin' trucker!" My main attraction took a wicked, crooked bend I thought my lovin' days had reached a bitter end It’s turnin' deep purple like a Concord grape I’m lookin' for the door, lookin' for an escape! Yeah, I broke my shaft, man, what a low-down drag Now my North Pole is flyin' at a half-mast flag! Outro (Slower, bluesy tempo) Now I’m sittin' on the porch in a bag of crushed ice Listenin' to the preacher givin' me advice No more rockin', no more rollin' tonight Gonna be a month 'til the plumbing feels right Yeah, it’s a break... A real bad break... (Spoken) Watch your step, Daddy-o. (Final discordant guitar chord)
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