I woke up early today. Not because I wanted to. Just because my body has started making its own rules. The light through the curtains landed on the wall in exactly the same place as yesterday. It's strange how the sun keeps showing up without knowing that some people are trying to stay here. I heard someone laughing outside the window. A cyclist. Two people carrying coffee. A dog pulling its owner in the wrong direction. Everything kept going. As if the world never got the message. I sat there with a cup of coffee going cold. Not because I forgot it. Just because I started thinking. It's strange what suddenly matters. Not money. Not watches. Not emails. Suddenly you think about: the smell of rain through an open window. The way someone says your name. The sound of keys outside the door when someone comes home. I spent so many years hurrying. Hurrying toward things. Hurrying away from things. Hurrying through Tuesdays as if life started later. As if the real life was waiting somewhere else. The strangest thing is I thought I had plenty of time until time itself stopped behaving normally. Five minutes can be nothing. Five minutes can be everything. I looked at my hands today. Same hands. Same scars. Same fingers. Still somehow it felt like I was looking at someone I should have spent more time with. Outside people are still catching buses. Buying dinner. Getting annoyed in traffic. Laughing at videos. Planning summer. And somehow that actually makes me happy. It makes me happy that the world keeps moving. Because it means someone is still sitting on a bench somewhere falling in love. Someone is still calling their mother. Someone is still standing by a window waiting for someone. All of my thoughts today have really been about the same thing: Life was never the big things. Just all the small things that had been standing there the whole time waiting for me to notice them
