Scientists built A grand machine. Bright laser beams, And chrome and sheen. A billion bucks To move a mouse. I do it cheaper In my house. Whisky is The real time machine! The fastest ride You've ever seen. Pour a double, Take a sip. Launch right out On a cosmic trip! No dials, no lights, No wires in sight. Just total warp speed Every night! One glass of Scotch: It's 2024 I'm crying on My ex's floor. Two Bourbons in, The future flies. I wake up late, With bloodshot eyes. I skipped the weekend, Missed the sun. Einstein's theories Are no fun. Whisky is The real time machine! The fastest ride You've ever seen. Pour a double, Take a sip. Launch right out On a cosmic trip! No dials, no lights, No wires in sight. Just total warp speed Every night! They say light speed Is what you need. But at the bar I take the lead. I blink at eight, And then it's four! They're sweeping up The dusty floor. Where are the hours? Where is my shoe? My wallet vanished Into the blue. Keep your spaceships, Keep your math. I’ll take the aged And liquid path. Tomorrow morning, In my bed, The Ice Age starts Inside my head. Yes, whisky is The machine... Pass the ice. What year is this?
