[Intro] Code Red! This is not a drill! I’ve lost everything! Go! [Verse 1] Woke up late, the sun is bright Trying to recover from the Friday night Opened up the drawer, what do I see? Absolute void staring back at me! No cotton! No spandex! No boxer briefs! Targeted by a domestic thief! [Verse 2] I’m tearing up the bedroom, tossing the sheets Pacing around on my bare cold feet Looked behind the radiator, checked the fridge I'm pushing my sanity over the edge! Standing in a towel, looking like a fool The universe is punishing and totally cruel! [Pre-Chorus] The washing machine is a portal to hell I know its secret, I know it too well The drum is spinning, erasing my past How long can this naked nightmare last?! [Chorus] Have you seen my underwear?! I've been looking everywhere! I checked the floor, I checked the door I can't take this anymore! Neon T-Rex, where did you go?! I need some coverage down below! Electronic chaos, denim is rough I just want my favorite stuff! [Verse 3] Going commando is a dangerous game One wrong move and you burst into flame! Zippers are weapons, denim is pain I am the victim and going insane! Did the dog eat them? Are they under the bed? I’ve got a thousand scenarios inside of my head! [Bridge] Give them back. Give them back! My dignity is under attack! I said give them back! Give them back! My dignity is under attack! [Breakdown] DISRESPECT YOUR LAUNDRY!!!! BLEGH!!!!! Where are the T-Rexes?! Spit them out! Stupid machine! [Pre-Chorus] The washing machine is a portal to hell I know its secret, I know it too well The drum is spinning, erasing my past How long can this naked nightmare last?! [Chorus] Have you seen my underwear?! I've been looking everywhere! I checked the floor, I checked the door I can't take this anymore! Neon T-Rex, where did you go?! I need some coverage down below! Electronic chaos, denim is rough I just want my favorite stuff! [Outro] I can't find them anywhere. I guess I'm wearing a neon green swimsuit from 2018 today. End of transmission.
