[Intro – Big Band Fanfare, Canned Applause] Good evening, everybody! Welcome back to Channel Three! What a lovely night for television! And what a lovely sight to see! [Verse 1 – Charismatic Male Announcer] Put your slippers by the chair, Comb your lovely little hair. Pour a drink and settle down, We're the happiest show in town! Mother's knitting, Father's tired, Little Jimmy's quite inspired! Everybody looking fine, Just in time for half past nine! [Pre-Chorus – Swinging Brass] One, two, three! Look at me! Four, five, six! Don't touch that switch! [Chorus – Big Band, Cheerful Harmonies] Don't touch that dial! Stay a little while! Sit up straight and smile for me, You're the star of Channel Three! Don't touch that dial! Give us one more smile! There's no better place to be Than right here with me! [Instrumental – Trumpet, Saxophone, Applause] [Verse 2] Mrs. Miller, lovely dress! Mr. Brown, your room's a mess! Little Jimmy, don't you hide, We can see you there inside! Someone's reaching for the set, Surely we're not finished yet! What a shame to miss the show, When there's nowhere else to go! [Chorus] Don't touch that dial! Stay a little while! Sit up straight and smile for me, You're the star of Channel Three! Don't touch that dial! Give us one more smile! There's no better place to be Than right here with me! [Bridge – Soft Crooner, Faint Static] Close the window, dim the light, Such a lovely, quiet night. There's a shadow by your door, Was it there a moment before? [Spoken – Brightly] Oh, don't look behind you! You'll miss the best part! [Instrumental – Warbling Broadcast Swing] [Final Chorus – Exuberant, Slightly Warped] Don't touch that dial! Stay a little while! Keep those pretty eyes on me, You're the star of Channel Three! Don't touch that dial! Just another little smile! Even when the picture's gone, The show goes on and on! [Outro – Slowing Orchestra, Static] Good night, dear friends! It's time to say goodbye... [Spoken – Warmly] Oh, Mrs. Miller? Your television isn't broken. You turned it off. [Static]
