It Ain't A Love Letter (Americana Storyteller)

[Spoken Intro]
Well, the votes are in and the donkeys are dancing.
Somebody ought to tell ’em to sit down.

[Verse 1]
Tuesday came and the country spoke,
Turned out the ballot box wasn’t broke,
The House went blue and the Senate too,
And the pundits choked on their morning brew.

[Chorus 1]
So raise a glass, but don’t raise it high,
This ain’t a love song, it’s a goodbye,
Folks didn’t vote for the donkey’s charm,
They were only hoping to stop the harm.

[Verse 2]
Tariffs on the toaster, tariffs on the bread,
Grocery bill reading like a note from the dead,
Gold on the ceiling, crypto in the till,
And a ballroom built while we paid the bill.

Verse 3]
He promised no new wars, then he went and found one,
Nine months in Iran and it still ain’t done,
It wasn’t a genius or a vote of the House
Who decided to burn the barn to smoke out a mouse,
Gas went up a dollar and it hasn’t come down,
Ask anybody filling up in this town.

[Chorus 2]
So clap if you want, but keep it light,
The donkey didn’t win, the elephant lost the fight,
Nobody's swooning over the newly elected,
They were just unhappy with the ones they ejected.

[Verse 4]
Our friends across the water used to take our word,
Now they check the fine print on everything they heard,
We tariffed ’em, insulted ’em, and asked for more,
And they stopped answering when we knocked on their door.

[Verse 5]
Now the Democrats are strutting like they built the dam,
Polling somewhere south of canned spam,
Approval lower than a basement floor,
And most new faces, we don't much care for.

[Spoken Verse 6]
Listen here, you fellas in the blue suits.
That wasn’t a crown they handed you,
That was a pink slip with somebody else’s name on it.
You got two years to prove you’re more than “not him.”
Fumble it, and the folks who fired the last crew
Will fire you just as quick.

[Chorus 3]
So don’t mistake a shove for a hug,
Don’t mistake the doorway for a welcome rug,
Nobody handed you a love note, son,
They handed you a mop and a job half done.

[Spoken Outro]
Greed and graft got shown the door.
Whether the new crowd’s any better, well, that’s what the next election’s for.

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[Spoken Intro] Well, the votes are in and the donkeys are dancing. Somebody ought to tell ’em to sit down. [Verse 1] Tuesday came and the country spoke, Turned out the ballot box wasn’t broke, The House went blue and the Senate too, And the pundits choked on their morning brew. [Chorus 1] So raise a glass, but don’t raise it high, This ain’t a love song, it’s a goodbye, Folks didn’t vote for the donkey’s charm, They were only hoping to stop the harm. [Verse 2] Tariffs on the toaster, tariffs on the bread, Grocery bill reading like a note from the dead, Gold on the ceiling, crypto in the till, And a ballroom built while we paid the bill. Verse 3] He promised no new wars, then he went and found one, Nine months in Iran and it still ain’t done, It wasn’t a genius or a vote of the House Who decided to burn the barn to smoke out a mouse, Gas went up a dollar and it hasn’t come down, Ask anybody filling up in this town. [Chorus 2] So clap if you want, but keep it light, The donkey didn’t win, the elephant lost the fight, Nobody's swooning over the newly elected, They were just unhappy with the ones they ejected. [Verse 4] Our friends across the water used to take our word, Now they check the fine print on everything they heard, We tariffed ’em, insulted ’em, and asked for more, And they stopped answering when we knocked on their door. [Verse 5] Now the Democrats are strutting like they built the dam, Polling somewhere south of canned spam, Approval lower than a basement floor, And most new faces, we don't much care for. [Spoken Verse 6] Listen here, you fellas in the blue suits. That wasn’t a crown they handed you, That was a pink slip with somebody else’s name on it. You got two years to prove you’re more than “not him.” Fumble it, and the folks who fired the last crew Will fire you just as quick. [Chorus 3] So don’t mistake a shove for a hug, Don’t mistake the doorway for a welcome rug, Nobody handed you a love note, son, They handed you a mop and a job half done. [Spoken Outro] Greed and graft got shown the door. Whether the new crowd’s any better, well, that’s what the next election’s for.

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