[Verse 1] It was Christmas Eve, the snow came down, red velvet footprints through my little town. I heard a thump, then a laugh so low, somebody sliding where he shouldn’t go. He came through the chimney, big boots on the floor, left his sack wide open by the living room door. He winked and whispered, “Have you been good?” I said, “Maybe not as good as I should.” [Pre-Chorus] The candles were burning, the lights were low, mistletoe swinging nice and slow. He said, “Ho ho ho,” with a twinkle in his eye, I said, “Santa, baby, tonight you’re mine.” [Chorus] I did Santa, yeah, I did Santa. Wrapped him up, laid him down, made sure he stayed around. I did Santa, nobody did it better. By the fireplace glow, in the cold December weather. [Verse 2] His hat was crooked, his belt came loose, reindeer outside getting no excuse. The sleigh bells shook, the rooftops sighed, and Mrs. Claus never knew he lied. He said, “Girl, you’re trouble,” I said, “You’re right,” then locked every window tight that night. He reached for cookies, I reached for wine, he said, “This Christmas feels divine.” [Pre-Chorus] The stockings were hanging, the room was warm, red suit tangled in a winter storm. He asked for mercy, I laughed out loud, said, “Santa, you’re not leaving now.” [Chorus] I did Santa, yeah, I did Santa. Wrapped him up, laid him down, made sure he stayed around. I did Santa, nobody did it better. By the fireplace glow, in the cold December weather. [Bridge] They searched the rooftops, searched the snow, asked every elf where he might go. The North Pole called, the headlines read: “Santa Missing — Christmas Dead.” I just smiled in my satin robe, with coal-black nails and a heart gone cold. They said, “Ma’am, did you see that man?” I said, “Only when the night began.” [Final Chorus] I did Santa, yeah, I did Santa. Wrapped him up, laid him down, made sure he stayed around. I did Santa, that’s my Christmas letter. He came down my chimney, but he should’ve known better. [Outro/punchline] So when they ask why Christmas stopped, why the sleigh bells never ring, I just say, “I did Santa…” I didn’t sleep with him — I did him in.
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